Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Walking away from things that no longer make you Happy

We all have them, those things that once brought us so much happiness but something has changed, in ourselves, in our relationships, or even in our emotions so that there is little or no joy left in those activities, relationships, or things.

There comes a time in every life that we must weight the pros of cons of different things and decide is this the path I want to be on?  Is this path where I am meant to be, is this just a glitch in my life or this a life altering decision.  If something is no longer bringing you happiness you have to decide if it is time to move forward and release that energy back into the universe in order to find the happiness you deserve.

Many times situations can be remedied and relationships made better, but sometimes they cannot. Sometimes we have to decide if this is something that we can change or mend or if it is beyond that point and we are simply spinning our wheels.  We have to make sure that decisions that regard more than one person, namely a spouse or partner is not one sided.  We cannot go from "happy" to miserable in the blink of an eye.  We have to discuss our relationship and what isn't working with those in our life that our decision may impact.  We cannot take action to follow our bliss before discussing those kind of changes with our partners in life.

We don't have to stay in an abusive relationship regardless of what a partner may want, be that physical, emotional, or even verbal.  We don't have to allow ourselves to be punching bags for their anger and unresolved issues.  But if you are in a relationship with someone who does believe that your marriage or partnership is a good one then you first must talk to them before making drastic changes in your relationship status.

If you are working at a job that you feel is a dead end. If there is no way of moving up the ladder of success and there is no way to find a happy place within that employment, try talking to your boss regarding the issues you are having.  Poor working conditions, lack of compensation for your time, lack of appreciation for your efforts. Be strong and stand up for yourself.  If you cannot find a happy medium do not walk out, give notice work through that notice so that you are not left with a horrible stain on your employment record.

Many times things can be made better by open and honest communications, sometimes they cannot be prepared to move forward if the situation does not or cannot be changed.  Do not allow a bad situation to dictate how you live your life.  If you are miserable in your job and there is no changing your current situation you may want to start looking around for other employment to keep a roof over your head and food on your table before giving your notice or even talking to your boss.  It is always good to keep your options open but keep in mind the basic necessities of life when forming your life plan.  It is often easier to find employment when you have employment rather than having spaces in your resume while you are job hunting.  And never under any circumstances ever trash talk previous jobs or employment experiences while discussing a possible future with a new possible employer. It reflects badly on yourself in the eyes of the interviewer. It is best to be vague than to give details they do not need regarding why you are looking to leave a current employer.

We all have bad days, days that make us wonder if this is the life we are meant to be living. Is your current situation worth the wear and tear on your emotions, your body and your heart?  If not do not stand idly by and allow the actions of others to dictate your own self worth. Take a stand, do something, change your life for the better.  There is no time like today to begin creating the life you want to lead.  Even babysteps are steps in the direction you want to go.  Don't stick your head in the sand and try to pretend that things will change, maybe they will maybe they won't.  Sometimes when we tolerate bad behavior it changes for the worst.  Those around us feel that since we don't speak up or say this is not what I signed on for that we are content to live a miserable existence.  If you don't stand up for yourself then who will?

Finding your bliss is about being happy.  Happy in the life choices you choose, happy in the relationships you invest your time, energy and heart into.  It is about living a life worth living not merely scrapping by and doing what is expected of you.  Many times others will tell you that nothing is going to change, that the next relationship will be as bad as your current one because you are the one picking the bad people to have relationships with. Or that all jobs are horrible but as an adult you have to learn to suck it up and go to work. That is not true.  If all of your past relationships are taking on the same tone, maybe it is time for you to change. Take some time to get to know yourself before leaping into another one.  Don't do what my dad always referred to as Mario relationships.  Jumping one to another like the platforms in a video game.  Take some time to let your heart and mind heal. Learn to be good company for yourself and there fore expect the same kind of respect from those you allow into your heart.

All jobs have sucky moments, yes but not all jobs are hell on earth. Some jobs are that way because of managers who don't do their jobs well, some are threatened by the talented people they are surrounded by because they know that although they may have skills that everyone has a different set of skills they bring to the table. So instead of embracing their own skills they would rather tear down your confidence and make you think you have no value. I have in the past worked for a couple of those.  I have also worked for some amazing people who promoted my skills, gave me jobs that would help me build those skills and allowed me to do what I did best.  Those are the managers that good jobs have.  Those are the kind of people who take team building seriously and who want you and those you work with to be the best you can be. Those are the kind of managers that make even sucky jobs a whole less sucky.

I know that during tough economic times we should all be thankful to have a job and that being single is not easy. Been there done that.  But the reality of the situations is this.  Would you rather have a lifetime of nothing special or moments of pure unadulterated happiness that made your life worthwhile.  I heard something something similar in the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" it stuck with me.  And it became my battle cry for finding my own personal bliss.

I find motivation in the strangest places at times, movies, music, great literature.  I read and experience all that I can so that I have a buffet of things to remember and things to strive to become.  Life isn't about taking that next breath, it is about the moment that take your breath away.  It is about living life to the fullest and being happy.  It is about experiencing new sensations with a clear pallet and allowing all the wonderful taste and sensations to awaken the nerves in your body and the thoughts in your mind. It is about living, not counting the moments until you die.

I hope my blog today has given everyone some food for thought. I hope that you take even a small babystep today towards finding your bliss.  I hope that you learn to find happiness in the smallest things and realize that our time on this planet is limited and that we don't have a unlimited supply of tomorrows to make our dreams a reality.  You don't have to run out and join a commune or shave your head and sell flowers in the airport, unless that is just what makes you truly happy.  But you do have to wake up, smell the coffee and begin living your life like you have no tomorrows in the bank of life.  You have to realize that the only person on this planet who can make you happy is you.

You can have a great job and a great relationship and enjoy both, but without inner happiness this is just a temporary state of mind.  You have to discover that place inside your soul that makes you complete.  You have to find that one or two or half a dozen things that bring you inner peace and make time in your schedule to follow those dreams.  You have to be who you were born to be.

If my words have stirred something in your gut I am glad, if they have not then perhaps you are not ready to find your bliss.  Everyone matures and evolves at their own pace. There is no set guidelines in place regarding at what age you get fed up with being miserable and say enough already it is time for me to discover my own bliss.  If you aren't touched by my writing chances are you aren't ready yet. But keep in mind most people at some point in their lives reach that point. Usually it is brought on by the death of a loved one, and we reach our conclusions regarding our mortality and how fleeting time is.  Never criticize those who have reached that point because as some point in your life you will be amongst those numbers and you will need the guidance of those who have already climbed that mountain to find your own.

I hope that my blog finds all well and following their own bliss, that my blog has inspired others to begin the journey I have begun and hopefully along the way learn the true meaning of life and that happiness is a precious thing that cannot be replaced or ignored.

Until Tomorrow blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane, and be happy.

An interview done with the amazing Hitchcock who created timeless treasures during his lifetime.  I prefer to study those who are successful in finding what I am looking for to see what steps they took to find their own bliss in order to better pursue my own.  Clear concise and to the point. A good watch and hopefully it inspires others to do the same. Look for your clear horizon and create the life you want to live.


  1. I really enjoy your blog, many of your entries really speak to me.

  2. I truly appreciate that. I know that many will not because every person is different, but I like to think that in many ways we are all very similar in the challenges we face in life. My hope is that if you find anything in one of my blogs you will know that you are not alone in the crazy world and that there are people out there that truly get who you are. In that I hope people find the strength to pursue what makes them happy and not be afraid that they are only one who faces similar challenges.