Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Mastering New Skills

Those who read my blog know that I have saved and researched until I could afford and finally made a decision regarding my new camera. It is one of the many passions I am following in my new journey to find my bliss. 

Today I went outside and started doing some serious shots.  I wanted to try and capture some of the beautiful world around me, in its uncut unedited form.  I spent the morning sitting and watching nature in all its beauty as it surrounded me.  Watching as our chickens pecked at the bugs and the wild birds as they fed from our bird feeder.

I just took a moment to actually enjoy our overcast cold day with a hot cup of coffee and my camera.  I got some amazing shots that I am really proud of and wanted to share with those who read my blog or who are following it. Showing you how far I have come in a very short period of time. 

I am still learning what all the different adjustments do on the camera and what it is capable of. It took me almost 12 hours just to figure out the video portion of it but now am experimenting with homemade filters and film speed, which on my new camera is adjustable.

When you find something that makes you happy whether you are good at it or not you should do it. Now I have shot probably around 400 pictures with my new camera since Friday.  And not all of them have been incredible shots, many were blurry and some were just badly composed. Some showed far more of my real life than I care to show the world at large, but I am still enjoying the process.  When I get a good shot with it I feel like I am on cloud nine and often tag family and friends in them on facebook and proudly show them publicly to the world.

I know a lot of people would tell me not to do that, that I am encouraging others to steal my work by not protecting it with some kind of trademark stamp or at least my name. But in this era of digital photography there are so many different programs readily available online to remove such things, that to me it would be a waste of my time to actually put them on my pictures.

I myself have taken pictures from a friends wedding and removed things in the pictures that distracted from the happy couple so I know if I can do it others can do it as well.  But I am finding such joy reconnecting with my creative side I really do not care. If someone wants to borrow, share, or even steal my pictures go right ahead. I have the originals with the time stamp to prove they are mine. As well as really not caring about such trivial bs. 

When you find something that makes you happy do it, share it with the world.  Encourage others to do the same because no matter how miserable I may feel or how dreary my day. I can pick up my camera and suddenly the day is a just a little bit brighter.  Will I ever do anything more than just take pictures for myself, doubtful.  I am enjoying the journey.  Where it leads me is a whole different subject.  I just know that had I not followed my bliss I would be missing out on so many beautiful things the world has to show me.

I wouldn't be able to look back on my pictures and say I took that, or I remember that moment.  Or that was the day this happened.  Life is funny in it throws us all some curve balls, but I believe people who actually take the time to enjoy it live longer, are healthier and find far less faults in others because they are so busy living their own lives they don't have time to stress over the fact their neighbor didn't take out their garbage before the service ran and now it is sitting on the curb for a week.  Or that their beloved husband forgot an anniversary, or that their kids said they prefer someone else's mom because she makes homemade cookies instead of store bought.

Life is what you make of it. It can be a beautiful journey or it can be a miserable existence.  Only you can decide what paths in life you take and how you respond to something that has happened. At least by following my bliss I have been able to find things that bring me joy and when I am feeling down I find solace in those things to help bring me back to center and ground me in the here and now.

Every moment of my life isn't roses and sunshine, bad things happen.  I have days when I drag myself out of bed and say do I really have to do this again today.  I have moments when I feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall and all I am getting for my troubles is a headache and some chips missing from the brick wall. (I am very hard headed you know). 

But by following my bliss where ever it may take me I feel like I will find a part of myself that I didn't know existed, or perhaps I did know but it was so buried under the bs of my day to day life I just didn't pay any attention to it.  All I know if I am happy.  I am happy because I choose to be happy, I am happy because I want to be happy, and I am happy because I am allowing myself the freedom to be happy.

Now I know this didn't happen overnight and that it won't stay around if I don't continue to pursue it.  I know that it like anything else must be fed and given attention or it will wander away never to heard or seen again.  But I am willing to make that commitment to myself.  To take just a little bit of every day and do something I don't care if it is tending to my plants or playing with my dogs, or taking shots with my camera to do something for me. 

I give so much of myself to those I love and care for, I feel I deserve something that is mine.  I plaster on that smile and pretend to be happy with people that some days I just really wish would take a rolling leap under an oncoming bus because I take that time for myself.  I am able to drag my sorry butt out of bed every morning because I know that no matter what at least a few moments of my day will be spent doing something I enjoy doing or working towards a goal that will make me happy.  I do it for my own sanity and mental well being.

I hope my words today have given you some food for thought. I hope that you are already planning out your bliss and what it would take to make you feel complete and whole.  I hope that you are taking active steps to follow your own bliss and enjoying tagging along on my journey to find mine. 

Until my next post stay safe, stay sane, and be happy.

Now for some of the incredible shots I have gotten while following my bliss with my new camera.
One of my beautiful well mannered pit bulls with our mustang horse Lucky
One of our vicious farm kitties letting me know he is not happy about all the picture taking
A beautiful nature shot taken right outside my window
A shot of one of roosters, this is Spock, he isn't very pretty in the face but he is a very friendly and loving rooster.
New growth on my Don Juan rose bush it is going to be truly magnificent this year.
One of my vicious pit bulls posing for an Easter photograph with one of our bunnies

Just a handful of the photographs I have taken with my new camera and the many happy memories that come with them.








Saturday, March 23, 2013

Spring is in the Air

Today I took a walk through the woods behind your house, and played with my new camera.  I saw many things before I had just viewed but never seen.  I noticed flowers beginning to peak their heads from the warming soil, reaching for the sun. I saw living creatures and how nature reclaims her own.  I saw moss and trees and seeds that held the promise of future generations.

As I walked amongst the woods I let the cool air refresh my soul and recharge my mental and emotional batteries.  I allowed the clean air to cleanse my lungs of the toxins we all breath every day completely unaware of in our day to day lives. I took a moment and just sat.  Listening as deer rustled near by leaves with their footfalls and the stream below me as it babbled and ran over the smooth stones.

I learn a lot from nature. From the animals I surround myself with and the wild animals I battle to keep my animals safe. I learn from the plants and how they strive to survive even amongst some of the worst conditions.  I learn that determination and perseverance is how nature survives.  I take a page from Mother Nature and learn that if I cannot go through it I must go around it.

Ever striving to create the world in which I choose rather than blindly following or accepting the world I am presented.  I learn that although an obstacle may stand in my path it is up to me if I limit my ability to grow and adapt.  I learn by watching and listening and allowing the beauty that surrounds us all to simply wash over me and cleanse my soul.

I am not a hippie, or at least I don't think I am. I am not a prepper, or at least I don't think I am.  I am not a naturalist, or at least I don't think I am. But I am me.  Undefined by mans words or molds. Unwilling to bend to the times that change or the society that says I must fit into this mold.  I am more than happy to accommodate others and to learn and change with world but I am unwilling to sacrifice myself in order to make the world at large happy or more comfortable.

I am a mother, and a grandmother and a wife. But those to me are words, titles I have earned during my journey but they do not define who I am.  I am a student and a rescue worker and a writer, once again titles I have earned but they do not define me.  I am a friend, an enemy to some and a gardener, but these words are only a small part of who I am.

I wear many hats and do many different things and each of these thing enrich my life and make it a life worth living.  I am not limited by my experience but the more knowledgeable for having had them.  I do  not allow my failures to prevent me from trying again and I do not rest upon my accomplishments I enjoy them and move forward with my journey.

I am documenting this journey I am taking into finding my bliss in hopes that it will inspire others to do the same. Their journey may not be identical to mine and I truly do not expect it will be. But I have hope that by reading my words and hearing my message I inspire others to find the things in their life that bring them true joy and embrace them. To not run away from something simply because it is not easy or because the battles you must face may appear to outweigh the good things that accomplishing them may bring wonderful things to your life.

Never fear change or run from a challenge.  I am an odd woman I thrive on a challenge.  If someone tells me I cannot do something that just sets something off inside me to try harder and find a way to make it happen.  I have always been this way for as far back as I can remember. I do not like confrontation but am more than willing to fight for the things I believe in or feel passionate about.  I do not feel that my age is a hindrance because with it comes the wisdom of a lifetime well lived.

My body is not that of a 20 year old but I still revel in the amazing things it can still accomplish.  I live each day with the awe and wonderment of a small child at times. Taking amazement in the simple things and just taking a moment out of my crazy life to watch what is going on around me.  Enjoying each buds as it becomes an amazing one of a kind flower, or watching a bumble bee glide from flower to flower collecting nectar, completely oblivious to the human standing over it.

I sometimes wonder if my happiness is largely in part to the fact that I do notice these small miracles and take joy in them.  That if finding my bliss isn't a journey I have recently undertaken but one that I have been on my entire life.  Many folks say that you should concentrate on the long term others say you should live in the moment. I say you should balance your life to include both. Look to the long term plan but at the same time never losing site of the important things that you will miss if you are so busy looking at the horizon that you forget to enjoy the view around you.  Never has anyone ever said I wish I had spent more time at the office on their death bed, normally it is I wish I had spent more time with my family, or I wish I painted something truly memorable, or something along those lines.

I may be an oddity within my own society.  I may not fit the mold set in place by others because I refuse to act my age or think a certain way. But to be honest I am far happier walking my own path and living the life I choose.  I may never be famous or find a cure for some dreaded disease but I know in my soul that I am living a life well spent.  I may never walk on the moon or change society as a whole but every person I influence that tries to take active steps towards living a healthier or happier life I have done something.

I write this to let you know it is ok if your biggest dream is to have a rose garden, or grow your own tomatoes, or just sit on a beach somewhere enjoying a good book. Its ok to dream small and not accomplish life changing goals. It is alright to take a little time for yourself to enjoy your favorite meal or that glass of homemade wine.  It is just fine to be exactly who you are in the skin you are in and to happy.  You don't have to change the world you only have to change yourself.

The world isn't going to end if you aren't the top in your field. Some are destined to be the best at something others are meant to be amongst those watching.  The world will  not stop spinning if you do not live in that million dollar mansion or drive the most expensive car on the road.  You family will not think less of you for living the life you choose to live. If they do remind them it is your life and no one has the right to judge another.  That you love them regardless and if they cannot do that for you then perhaps they need to figure out why your choices bother them so much.  Chances are they cannot come up with a just reason and are only trying to fit into that box that society has deemed is normal.  Who wants to be normal, that is just downright boring to me.

I enjoy my life and all that it brings with it. The good times and bad alike. The good times keep me motivated and the pain from the bad times helps me learn what isn't working in my life.  I try to keep in mind that sometimes people move in and out of lives and that them leaving isn't a reflection upon me but is a notification that my time and learning from them is done, at least for now.

I am not really sure what the blog today is about just random thoughts that passed through my mind while I was hiking in the woods with my cat and dog and chickens.  It is just things that I felt I needed to share with my readers and to let them know life is good regardless of where you are in it. Just starting out or coming to the end of your journey.  That as long as you do what makes you happy you are already so incredibly far ahead of the majority of people that all you can do is laugh and say well one day they too shall be here.

I hope my words today have inspired or at least made you think.  I hope that you find something either in them or from them and that it moves you to take that first baby step towards finding your own bliss no matter what path that may lead you down.  That you remember that life isn't always about the end result sometimes it is simply about the journey and the many things you learn about yourself along the way.  That you allow your own personal nature to guide you and help you discover what truly makes you happy and what doesn't work in your own life and that you always remember that you are a one of kind masterpiece that only needs an artistic signature to complete it.

Until Next time blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane, and be happy.

Remember that a seed is a promise of tomorrow and we all have that seed of imagination buried deep within us.  I can weather the storms that life brings as long as we protect it and remember to plant it when warmer weather returns. But if we only lock it away and keep it safe it will never become the plant that it was destined to be.
I found this during my nature walk today and it reminded me that nature in all her amazing glory provides each of us with the basic necessities we need to become what we were born to be, but that it is up to us to utilize those gifts in order to live the life we were destined to live.



Friday, March 22, 2013

When you Finally get what you want

Today my camera arrived. The one I have been dreaming off, drooling over and researching to no end. I know I have driven those around me crazy with "here watch this video" or "ohhh they have the same camera only cheaper I could afford to get the better lens for it."  I have researched many different cameras on the market. Making a list of what I wanted and what I needed and what would be nice to have. I set a budget for what I was comfortable spending and began saving for it.

I have had a few setbacks along the way, unexpected medical bills that hit us out of nowhere and we needed my preciously hoarded funds to meet them. Necessity overruling wanting.  I also knew that there is a time and season for everything and that I needed to wait until the right moment to make my investment to get the most bang for my buck.  Because I didn't run out and buy the first camera to catch my eye when it caught my attention I was able to learn all I could about the the camera I decided on.

Now comes the fun part, learning how to use it and taking all the incredible shots I have been dreaming of.  Now I have had a perfectly functional point and shoot that I paid 100 dollars for on clearance that did what I needed it to do.  It took pictures of the important moments in our lives.  But many times I spent hours working in a digital darkroom cropping, lightening and trying to save those truly important moments in the absolute best framing possible.

I do not regret waiting almost 6 months to make this investment and the test I went through I think made me appreciate it all the more. Sometimes our bliss doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes we have to work and struggle and fight for what we want out of this life. Sometimes just about when we are about to give up hope something will happen and our bliss will magically appear in our hands or in our lives.

Right now is a really busy time in my life.  I am raising chicks to add to our home flock of laying hens, as well as 5 ducklings.  I am planting like crazy because it turns out there is a shortage of individuals who can raise a plant from a seed and I actually found someone who will purchase my surplus plants to help support my other passions, my animals.

I am also back in college finishing up my degree and struggling with scheduling because some days there just isn't enough hours in the day for all the things I want or need to get done.  I have also been sick and actually had to take a sick day which for me is very rare, but sometimes you body says OK we aren't going to fight this if you keep pushing us the breaking point.

But all in all I can honestly say I am closer than I have ever been to my bliss.  I am getting there one small step at a time.  I am still fighting the good fight for the dogs I love.  Recently our state decided that they were going to try and pass some legislation that created issues for those who have a particular type of dog.  I was right there in the foxholes fighting along side those who love these dogs and refuse to allow them to legislated into extinction in our state.

I have waiting and planned and dreamed of things that are still outside my reach but with each passing day they get closer because I truly want them bad enough to make it happen.  I don't rest on my past victories I take note of them and press forward, ever learning and evolving into the creature I was born to be.

I have had some failures and setbacks, yes.  But all in all I have found that if I am persistent enough and patient enough that with time all that I want will come to me, just sometimes I have to work a little harder at obtaining them. If they do not come to me when I want them there is more often than not a reason. Perhaps I am not ready to experience that happiness, or maybe I wouldn't appreciate them the way I will a few more months down the line. I guess what I am trying to say is don't give up.

Just because your bliss isn't falling into your lap doesn't mean with time and dedication it won't. Sometimes you just gotta fight a little harder. You gotta try a little more creatively, or you have to want it bad enough.  Sometimes thing fall into place when you least expect them to or things fall apart when you least expect them to.  I have learned that during this journey first hand.  But just because something does work out this time or every time you have tried it in the past doesn't mean it won't. It just means the universe is testing to see how badly you truly want it.

I know everyone finds their bliss in different ways. For some it might be a goal of having enough money to never stress over bills again. For another it may be to lose those stubborn 10 lbs that you just cannot seam to shed. For some it is simple things like enjoying a cup of coffee with a loved one while sitting on an old porch watching a beautiful sunset together. Every individual has their own dreams and ideals and no one should ever knock another persons dreams or goals.  Who are they to say what is worthy of being a dream and what is worthy of someone else's time and attention.

So today I leave you with this thought.  If you could do anything on this planet and it would make you blissfully happy, what would that be?  Why aren't you taking active steps to make that a reality?  Even if it is nothing more than in the planning stage. Trying to figure out what needs to happen in order to bring that dream into your reality.  Never give up and never give in when it comes to your dreams.  Only you can say what is truly worth the effort you put forth to make them your reality.

Until next time blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane and be happy.
One of the incredible shots taken with my new camera. Beauty is all around you if you will only take the time to look and appreciate it.  I have been dying to capture some photographs of our peach tree in bloom. I finally am getting the chance to do that.  I am amazed at nature in all her wonder that even when the temperatures here are in the 20's she still finds a way to struggle through and show her beauty to those willing to look.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

What inspires you?

Many times people feel that their bliss is out their reach or that they don't have anything in their lives that truly makes them happy.  They go through life on auto pilot just doing what has to be done. That honey do list or getting up every day to complete the task at hand. But to me that is simply existing not living. 

Following your bliss simply means that you are living the life you were created to live.  It may not be the fanciest or the most elaborate.  But it is a life worth living.  It is finding happiness in those little things that you often take for granted and doing what comes naturally to you.  Many of my bliss experiences are based in things I have done for years and not thought about.

To me writing is a bliss.  I enjoy putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just allowing my thoughts and emotions to flow freely.  Even if those thoughts or emotions go no further than my private journal or my online blog.  I love to write, to me it comes as natural as breathing.  I know when I cannot do it I often find my emotions building up until I am ready to blow my top or explode at the least little thing. So writing to me is a bliss I enjoy pursing. 

I have recently returned from a sabbatical from my educational goals.  I take off for a semester or two when I need to decompress and clear my mind. It has made my educational goals stretch out over several years what normally would have only taken a few years to complete but my life is all about balance and finding that balance within myself. I take off to tend to personal issues, help out with family matters or simply to clear my plate and focus on the truly important things in my life.

Finding your bliss isn't about balls to the wall all out losing yourself completely in what makes you happy. It is about finding things that you enjoy, that you can on occasion escape into or find joy in. It is about learning what makes you tick and what makes you happy and making time in your already busy life to pursue those things. It is about feeling like your talents are valued and that you have an important role in the over all scheme of things.

It isn't about running away from your life and not taking care of the things that you are already obligated to. It isn't a midlife crisis it is simply learning to enjoy life to the fullest and having a life worth looking back on and saying man that was a wild ride.  It is about doing the things that you enjoy, that you are good at or that you want to be good at and doing them.

It is about not waiting until you get a death sentence from a doctor and realize that you have allowed several decades to slip past without making any kind of a dent in your list of things you really want to get accomplished.  It is about finding joy where joy exist and taking the time to actually enjoy your life and sharing that joy with others.  It is about living a life well lived.

I have heard from some that finding your bliss is a selfish and destructive life path to choose.  That you should put others first and never think of yourself.  I say those people are the ones who need to follow their bliss the worst.  They truly believe that wanting happiness for yourself in some way or fashion is a betrayal of helping others.  I believe that by helping yourself you are helping others. You are becoming a better person who is happier and more rounded.  Better balanced and in a far better position to help others because you have pulled yourself up by your own boot straps and done something that few people will ever do.  You have learned how to be happy.

I know that may sound selfish but the reality of the situation is this. If you aren't happy with yourself how can you possibly learn to be happy with someone else?  How can you express what it takes to make a relationship work if you are unaware of what you need to feel complete.  How can you advise others about how to live when you are merely existing in this space and time.

I don't care if your bliss is a quart of rocky road icecream and your favorite movie marathon. Take time to decompress and learn to embrace all the wonderful things this life has to offer.  Stop doing what doesn't work and what doesn't make you happy and make time in your life to do what does. You will find yourself not only feeling better but your emotions will no longer being in hyper drive. You will find you have more patience with others because you have more patience with yourself.  When you learn that everything doesn't come overnight or just because you want it to you will learn what is truly important to you and your life.

I know I haven't been writing as much as I would like and I feel it deep inside me. But at times my life gets super crazy and things hit out of the blue that tear me away from doing the wonderful things I enjoy. I try hard to make time for them but sometimes life gets in the way and my plate just gets way to full to fit even one more thing into my waking hours.  I find that when things settle down and I can actually find the time to think about the things I want to do at times I am so incredibly exhausted from dealing with the things I must do that I have no energy left.

Tonight I was blessed in the fact that I finished my homework earlier than I anticipated and still had a little energy and creativity left over to pursue my bliss.  Most days I am not that lucky.  Most days I run from the moment my eyes open until the second my head hits the pillow and I am out cold until the next morning.  Leaving little if any time for the things that bring me the most joy in my life.

Spring is just around the corner and our home is abuzz with the sounds of spring in the air. We are currently caring for 43 baby chicks. Our future egg laying hens, we started small and did only 20 last year that were a straight run of birds (Both male and female) to see how it would work in our already busy schedule.  This year we are doing strictly hens because well you only need so many roosters in a flock and I have picked the best of the best for our egg layers and future flock. 

I have several trays of seedlings ready to go in the garden as soon as the weather warms. They are under grow lights on a moveable greenhouse that is in my office.  Thriving and growing.  Some would argue isn't gardening one of my blisses that I pursue so how can I say I have not had time to follow my bliss.  The reality of the situation is this.  I love gardening, I love being able to step outside my door and pick a fresh tomato off the vine and bite into that homegrown freshness minus the chemicals and pesticides and herbicides.  I love the fact that I can provide those I love most in the world with home grown goodness and enjoy the bounty of my garden year round. Do I love the ins and outs and mundane details of starting seeds and hoping that nothing goes wrong between putting seeds in the soil and harvesting those fresh veggies, No I do not.  I often find my mind wandering over the things I need to be doing and counting down the days until warmer weather gets here and I can feel the sun on my skin and the fresh air in my lungs.

I love the whole getting my hands dirty and feeling like I am taking control of our food and taking a stand against commercially raised foods.  I love the picking my veggies and caring for my plants but the humdrum mundane chore of starting our plants from seed I don't enjoy.  I do enjoy seeing those little plant heads popping up from the soil seeking out the sunlight or in our case the grow lights. But from that moment until they are safely in the ground I stress over watering, under watering, to much light not enough light and the right plant food. Once they are outside Mother Nature pretty much takes over and I get to sit back and enjoy the many hours of hard work and just eat the fruits of my labor.  That part of gardening I enjoy. Not the stress the time and the failures at trying to do our plants from seed.

If I hate that part that much why do I do it. Because to me it is all a journey.  It is also much cheaper to go the seed route than the buying plants that I don't know what they may or may or may not have been treated with.  I don't know what has gone into the process of them being healthy and thriving. I guess at times I am over the top on my control issues, still working on that but until I master it or until I can find an organic grower I can completely trust I will continue to do it myself.

The point of all of this rambling is this. Yes there are things you have to do in order to get to where you want to be.  There are things that will motivate you to go against the flow of your current existence in order to get to where you want to be.  There will be pit falls and failures along the way as well as encouragement and success. Never give up, never give in, never surrender. I always liked that expression because when you are following your bliss it isn't all going to be wine and roses. Some days are going to be downright frustrating and irritating but anything in this life worth having is worth working for.  That was a very hard lesson for me to learn as a much younger person.

But I have seen time and time again, anything that comes easily is often not respected nor it is appreciated. Follow you bliss and do not give up hope. Live the life you were born to live but balance your obligations right along side your happiness factor. Love the life you have even if it means only getting to enjoy a very small portion of it because that is far more than many will ever get.

 I hope my words have given you some food for thought. I hope you find encouragement in them and hopefully you remember to always try.  You won't know what you are capable of or if you will enjoy it if you don't at least try it.

Until Next time blog buddies. Stay safe, stay sane and be happy.

My beautiful Cherokee tomatoes getting their true leaves.  I love the part of seedlings that they start to show their true nature. Until then they all look alike to me. Some may have fat stems some may have delicate stems but until those true leaves come it that tray could have been squash, or broccoli or even peppers.  Life is a lot like those seedlings. Sometimes you have to wait a while before you can actually see if the seed you planted is growing or if a weed has gotten into your seed mixture and you are simply raising more nonsense for you to deal with.  Always learn something new each day, any day without a new lesson learned is a wasted day of your time on this planet.