What inspires you?

Many times people feel that their bliss is out their reach or that they don't have anything in their lives that truly makes them happy.  They go through life on auto pilot just doing what has to be done. That honey do list or getting up every day to complete the task at hand. But to me that is simply existing not living. 

Following your bliss simply means that you are living the life you were created to live.  It may not be the fanciest or the most elaborate.  But it is a life worth living.  It is finding happiness in those little things that you often take for granted and doing what comes naturally to you.  Many of my bliss experiences are based in things I have done for years and not thought about.

To me writing is a bliss.  I enjoy putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just allowing my thoughts and emotions to flow freely.  Even if those thoughts or emotions go no further than my private journal or my online blog.  I love to write, to me it comes as natural as breathing.  I know when I cannot do it I often find my emotions building up until I am ready to blow my top or explode at the least little thing. So writing to me is a bliss I enjoy pursing. 

I have recently returned from a sabbatical from my educational goals.  I take off for a semester or two when I need to decompress and clear my mind. It has made my educational goals stretch out over several years what normally would have only taken a few years to complete but my life is all about balance and finding that balance within myself. I take off to tend to personal issues, help out with family matters or simply to clear my plate and focus on the truly important things in my life.

Finding your bliss isn't about balls to the wall all out losing yourself completely in what makes you happy. It is about finding things that you enjoy, that you can on occasion escape into or find joy in. It is about learning what makes you tick and what makes you happy and making time in your already busy life to pursue those things. It is about feeling like your talents are valued and that you have an important role in the over all scheme of things.

It isn't about running away from your life and not taking care of the things that you are already obligated to. It isn't a midlife crisis it is simply learning to enjoy life to the fullest and having a life worth looking back on and saying man that was a wild ride.  It is about doing the things that you enjoy, that you are good at or that you want to be good at and doing them.

It is about not waiting until you get a death sentence from a doctor and realize that you have allowed several decades to slip past without making any kind of a dent in your list of things you really want to get accomplished.  It is about finding joy where joy exist and taking the time to actually enjoy your life and sharing that joy with others.  It is about living a life well lived.

I have heard from some that finding your bliss is a selfish and destructive life path to choose.  That you should put others first and never think of yourself.  I say those people are the ones who need to follow their bliss the worst.  They truly believe that wanting happiness for yourself in some way or fashion is a betrayal of helping others.  I believe that by helping yourself you are helping others. You are becoming a better person who is happier and more rounded.  Better balanced and in a far better position to help others because you have pulled yourself up by your own boot straps and done something that few people will ever do.  You have learned how to be happy.

I know that may sound selfish but the reality of the situation is this. If you aren't happy with yourself how can you possibly learn to be happy with someone else?  How can you express what it takes to make a relationship work if you are unaware of what you need to feel complete.  How can you advise others about how to live when you are merely existing in this space and time.

I don't care if your bliss is a quart of rocky road icecream and your favorite movie marathon. Take time to decompress and learn to embrace all the wonderful things this life has to offer.  Stop doing what doesn't work and what doesn't make you happy and make time in your life to do what does. You will find yourself not only feeling better but your emotions will no longer being in hyper drive. You will find you have more patience with others because you have more patience with yourself.  When you learn that everything doesn't come overnight or just because you want it to you will learn what is truly important to you and your life.

I know I haven't been writing as much as I would like and I feel it deep inside me. But at times my life gets super crazy and things hit out of the blue that tear me away from doing the wonderful things I enjoy. I try hard to make time for them but sometimes life gets in the way and my plate just gets way to full to fit even one more thing into my waking hours.  I find that when things settle down and I can actually find the time to think about the things I want to do at times I am so incredibly exhausted from dealing with the things I must do that I have no energy left.

Tonight I was blessed in the fact that I finished my homework earlier than I anticipated and still had a little energy and creativity left over to pursue my bliss.  Most days I am not that lucky.  Most days I run from the moment my eyes open until the second my head hits the pillow and I am out cold until the next morning.  Leaving little if any time for the things that bring me the most joy in my life.

Spring is just around the corner and our home is abuzz with the sounds of spring in the air. We are currently caring for 43 baby chicks. Our future egg laying hens, we started small and did only 20 last year that were a straight run of birds (Both male and female) to see how it would work in our already busy schedule.  This year we are doing strictly hens because well you only need so many roosters in a flock and I have picked the best of the best for our egg layers and future flock. 

I have several trays of seedlings ready to go in the garden as soon as the weather warms. They are under grow lights on a moveable greenhouse that is in my office.  Thriving and growing.  Some would argue isn't gardening one of my blisses that I pursue so how can I say I have not had time to follow my bliss.  The reality of the situation is this.  I love gardening, I love being able to step outside my door and pick a fresh tomato off the vine and bite into that homegrown freshness minus the chemicals and pesticides and herbicides.  I love the fact that I can provide those I love most in the world with home grown goodness and enjoy the bounty of my garden year round. Do I love the ins and outs and mundane details of starting seeds and hoping that nothing goes wrong between putting seeds in the soil and harvesting those fresh veggies, No I do not.  I often find my mind wandering over the things I need to be doing and counting down the days until warmer weather gets here and I can feel the sun on my skin and the fresh air in my lungs.

I love the whole getting my hands dirty and feeling like I am taking control of our food and taking a stand against commercially raised foods.  I love the picking my veggies and caring for my plants but the humdrum mundane chore of starting our plants from seed I don't enjoy.  I do enjoy seeing those little plant heads popping up from the soil seeking out the sunlight or in our case the grow lights. But from that moment until they are safely in the ground I stress over watering, under watering, to much light not enough light and the right plant food. Once they are outside Mother Nature pretty much takes over and I get to sit back and enjoy the many hours of hard work and just eat the fruits of my labor.  That part of gardening I enjoy. Not the stress the time and the failures at trying to do our plants from seed.

If I hate that part that much why do I do it. Because to me it is all a journey.  It is also much cheaper to go the seed route than the buying plants that I don't know what they may or may or may not have been treated with.  I don't know what has gone into the process of them being healthy and thriving. I guess at times I am over the top on my control issues, still working on that but until I master it or until I can find an organic grower I can completely trust I will continue to do it myself.

The point of all of this rambling is this. Yes there are things you have to do in order to get to where you want to be.  There are things that will motivate you to go against the flow of your current existence in order to get to where you want to be.  There will be pit falls and failures along the way as well as encouragement and success. Never give up, never give in, never surrender. I always liked that expression because when you are following your bliss it isn't all going to be wine and roses. Some days are going to be downright frustrating and irritating but anything in this life worth having is worth working for.  That was a very hard lesson for me to learn as a much younger person.

But I have seen time and time again, anything that comes easily is often not respected nor it is appreciated. Follow you bliss and do not give up hope. Live the life you were born to live but balance your obligations right along side your happiness factor. Love the life you have even if it means only getting to enjoy a very small portion of it because that is far more than many will ever get.

 I hope my words have given you some food for thought. I hope you find encouragement in them and hopefully you remember to always try.  You won't know what you are capable of or if you will enjoy it if you don't at least try it.

Until Next time blog buddies. Stay safe, stay sane and be happy.

My beautiful Cherokee tomatoes getting their true leaves.  I love the part of seedlings that they start to show their true nature. Until then they all look alike to me. Some may have fat stems some may have delicate stems but until those true leaves come it that tray could have been squash, or broccoli or even peppers.  Life is a lot like those seedlings. Sometimes you have to wait a while before you can actually see if the seed you planted is growing or if a weed has gotten into your seed mixture and you are simply raising more nonsense for you to deal with.  Always learn something new each day, any day without a new lesson learned is a wasted day of your time on this planet.

Respect yourself enough to follow your bliss

We as a society often judge those who do not make the same kind of decisions regarding their lives that we as individuals deem "normal".  For everyone "normal" is something different. For one person normal may be marrying someone of the opposite gender and having a family.  Being a stay at home Mom and a Dad who provides for the family and a white picket fence and 2.5 children.

For others it may be being with the person of your dreams, choosing not to have a two legged family (aka human children) and living in a uber apartment with fine art and traveling.  For another it may be living your life as a single.  Different strokes for different folks. Just because everyone around you has chosen a particular life style it doesn't mean you have to choose the same life.  You may want something completely different in order to live a life that makes you happy.

I often hear from others that this person is weird or strange because their "norm" is different than another persons "norm".  And as a society we often judge others because they don't conform to what our personal ideals are. This could be a religious difference, a difference in partner choices, or even simply a difference in marital status.  The list is endless.

I am telling you here and now that there is no "Normal".  It is a fallacy created by our society to get you to do whatever the particular group of individuals you hang with wants you to do.  If everyone is getting married and you are standing on the sidelines single and happy. They will often see you as a threat because the world is filled with sheeple.  That is those who cannot or will not think for themselves.  They are often threatened by the lone wolf who follows their own dreams and path in this world.  Not allowing the decisions of others to dictate your actions is a sign of intelligence.  It is also a symptom of independence.

Now if you are happy with the idea of the opposite sex partner and the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids awesome, follow that dream. But if you are not do not do what makes others happy, do what makes you happy.  For every ying there is a yang.  So somewhere out there is probably someone who can relate to your reasons for preferring the child free life, or even embrace you for your differences and not feel the need to judge you simply because you don't conform to their ideal of "normal".

Following your bliss also means making a life you want to live.  It isn't just pursuing the interest that makes you happy.  It is also about choosing your own path in life and embracing what ever that path may hold for you.  Be that a partner of the same gender, a partner of the opposite gender, or even no partner at all.  Life is to short to be miserable.  If people cannot accept you and love you for who you are truly are deep down in your heart then they do not deserve to be amongst those you have within your inner circle.

Life can be hard and at times we all search for that perfect group of individuals to surround ourselves with.  But if you have to pretend to be something you aren't then why are you struggling so hard to be something you are not.  You cannot find happiness if you are living a lie. I have written before on to thy own self be true.  This blog goes hand in hand with that.  We must learn to look within ourselves and see the real us.  The person behind the mask we slap on every morning and tell the world this is me like it or lump it, regardless I am who I am.

This means that you don't have to pretend to be happy if you just aint happy.  That you don't have to pretend to be overjoyed at something when you don't understand it.  You don't have to pretend to be interested in something that is just so incredibly boring to you that you want to take a nap every time the subject matter comes up.  Now this doesn't mean you can be rude and blow off those who don't appreciate the real you, it simply means that you accept that they will never understand completely your life choices and that they may or may not ever come to terms with your life choices and that is ok.  That life will continue on and that the sun will rise tomorrow.

When my children were younger I had a friend who learned his child was gay.  At first he was in shock and disbelief that any product of his loins could be gay.  He went through all the same emotions as a parent who had just lost a child.  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then finally acceptance of the fact that his child would never be the image he had in his head of what his child should be.  He even went so far as to say that they would never find happiness because they would never get married or have a family.

It took many years for this individual to come to terms with their child's sexuality.  And I am happy to report that almost a decade later his child is living the life she choose and is now in a committed relationship with another woman and they have a family of their own.  He learned with time and love and that regardless of the life choices his child made, it was still his child.  He learned that at times you won't agree with the choices of those you love but as a caring loving adult you have two choices.  You can either accept them for who they are, or you can run the risk of losing them forever.  He chose to learn to accept that his child was different than the image he had in his head of what he wanted for her as an adult.

If those around you don't support your life choices then it may just be a sign from the universe it is time to enlarge that circle of friends that you surround yourself with.  If they are making choices that you feel the need to try and sway them from or convince them that they are wrong it may just be a sign from the universe that it is time for you to either broaden your own horizons or perhaps just live and let live.

We live in a very straight laced society.  And people are often judged by how they look, or what they drive, or what they do for a living.  Some judge others because they have tattoos or piercings.  Until  you actually get to know someone, really know them, not just that surface hi and bye and you pass in the hallway you don't understand the challenges that they face or the life path that may have had a controlling hand in the choices they have made.  Perhaps to them those tattoos and piercings are an expression of their own individuality.  Perhaps those are markers of milestones of their life.  You don't know until you either ask or they volunteer that information.  You cannot judge others if you do not wish to be judged.

We all have hidden characteristics that we don't share with the general public.  Most of us do not parade around our inner most secrets on display and allow the world to see them, because no one wants to be judged.  But if you are lucky enough to have a few close friends and loved ones who you can be what you are warts and all you are a very lucky person indeed.  Many times people go through their entire lives living a lie.  I have known people who are "weird" by cultural standards but hide it so well to meet them you would never know.  But behind closed doors they let their freaky flags fly high.  Or they are alone and can only do those those freaky things in their head for fear that someone might find out, that they like wearing women's clothing (male friends) or that they like being in control (both male and female). Or that they have some secret fantasy of being a singer in a band or some other slightly off the wall but no less important to them dream.

Terrified of ever following their dreams or pursuing their bliss because of what people might say or think.  I am a very open accepting person.  I know things that would make you go "you are making that up about some folks" but I don't judge and people often feel secure in letting me into those dark corners of their mind and hearts because they know their secrets are safe with me.  I won't judge them or ridicule them because I know we all have a freaky side.  It might be something as simple as a guilty indulgence of  a quart of rocky road icecream and their favorite chick flick on the nights that their husband is far from home when they are health freak the rest of the time.  Or it might be as crazy as they like to dress in drag and compete in some local competition on drag night. I don't care as long as it isn't hurting someone what is the harm in it.

Love those in your life and those who cannot accept you for exactly who you are then limit their exposure to your life. They may in time come to appreciate your differences, in time they may not. Either way their judgement of you will not affect how you feel about yourself unless you let it. No one can control how you feel about yourself unless you let them.  You are in control of your own destiny and only you can choose the path you choose to walk.

You have to live and let live. Learn to embrace differences in others and learn not to judge simply because someone else has a different viewpoint on the world.  As long as their freakyness isn't hurting anyone or anything what is the harm in it.  By being the person you want in your life you will often attract those who won't judge you or try to force you to be something you aren't.  Live your life on your own terms and be true to yourself.  Learn to embrace those differences and learn from them.  In both yourself and others.  The only thing this world is really short on is love.  We create war over religious differences, we cast away people who could help us grow and evolve into the people we were born to be simply because they have a different view of the world.

By learning to accept others we can also learn to accept our own "weird" ways and embrace who we truly are.  We can learn that although we may not be just like our siblings or our friends we are no less important in the over all scheme of things.  The world thrives on diversity.  If it didn't you wouldn't have near as many choices when it comes time to enjoy fine dining.  Just like not everybody appreciates sushi, not everybody appreciates hamburgers or pizza.  We are all different and those differences make us what we are, a unique individual with our qualities and faults and everybody has their own demons to face and conquer.

I hope my blog today gave you some food for thought.  I hope it helped some who are going through hard times to realize that regardless of how "weird" they may feel that in reality we are all a little "weird" from time to time and that is ok.  That no one is going to escape this life without a little turbulence but it isn't the flight that matters, only that we touch down safe and sound and happy at the end of our journey.

Until tomorrow blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane, and be happy.

To Thy Own Self Be True

Sometimes we all lie to ourselves. We figure if we keep our heads down and our mouths shut that the things we deserve will come to us.  That if we follow the rules and do as we are told that Happiness will magically fall into our laps and our dreams and goals will become our reality.  This isn't the way life works.

Life is hard, it has up days and down days.  Sometimes you are enjoying the sunshine and flowers and the next you may be going through the storms and sitting in the dark because the power has been turned off or gone out.  But the most important thing you can do is to be honest with yourself first and foremost.

If you aren't happy at your job unless a miracle happens that aint gonna change.  If you are in a relationship that doesn't stimulate you and make you grow as a person then why are you wasting your time and your energy.  I am not saying that every job and every relationship doesn't have its dark times.  We all have those moments we would like to shove our bosses off the top of our building or superglue him to his chair so he will shut up and let us do our jobs. And those days that you dream of tying your spouse to the bed and putting a ball gag in his mouth so he just cannot ruin our mood. But all in all you have to weigh the pros and cons of any and all relationships to decide if this is where you truly need to be.

Does it make you happy?  That isn't a 24/7 but do the good days outweigh the bad.  Does it help us grow and evolve into the people we were born to be, or does it hold us back and keep us boxed in a tiny little container we will never escape from?  Do you feel as though you are making a difference. That might be in the lives of your children, your co-workers, the people you provide a service or product for, or even just you immediate family?  If you cannot honestly answer yes to at least 2 of these 3 questions you make want to take a harder look at your life and decide if you have outgrown your current circumstances and it might be time for a change.

You don't have to quit that job, you could start researching about switching departments or progressing up the food chain at work. You might try a different location or even a whole new job classification. In today's economy a good job is hard to find and one that pays you well but drives you to an early grave may or may not be a priority in your life.  I try to make up a list of pros and cons and why I am staying and what would change if I leave list.  This helps me see things clearer than just living in that moment.  If you find yourself struggling to get out of bed in the mornings because you hate your job that much, it may be time for a change.  If you like what you are doing but really hate your boss you may try to transfer to working under someone who doesn't sap your creative spirit as badly.  If you cannot transfer to another department then you might have to consider start shopping around for another location to work doing the same job but with the possibility of future growth.

I don't recommend job hopping, it looks bad on a resume and it also lets employers know you aren't in it for the long haul, but always ask during the interview process what chance of promotion, additional training, or growth is there in any job.  Even a fry cook can dream of being a kitchen manager.  It is far better to know these things going into a job and refuse the offer than to work somewhere for a few months discover they omitted to tell you that you were hiring into a dead end job that you would be making the same widgets for the rest of your life. Never learning a new skill, never growing into your potential, never knowing what untapped skills you may have just laying beneath the surface that an employer could utilize.

If it is a relationship, people grow and change at different rates.  Have you ever had a relationship that you were in for an extended period of time and after a while decided for whatever reason to get out of and then you meet that person in a local store, or on the street and realize they are the exact same person you left a decade earlier.  That had you stayed with them you never would have pursued those dreams and goals that have made you so happy and done those things that while being with them seemed so out of reach.

Sometimes we have to make changes in our lives to make our lives better. Not all relationships end because of violence, or cheating, or any other reason that people use to terminate a relationship. Sometimes they end simply because as a person you outgrew them.  Sometimes a relationship can be salvaged when both parties are willing to grow and learn together. Get your partner involved in following your bliss, ask them to tag along to a class, or an activity that interest you.  Ask them about the things they would like to try or experience.  We all have a bucket list.  A list of things we would like to do before we die. Your partners may just surprise you, it not only gives you a chance to grow as a person but it also gives you a chance to experience some things you may not have thought about on your own.  And you never know you might actually learn something about your partner you didn't already know.

If your partner says there is nothing wrong with your lives together and there is nothing new that they want to try you may want to take a long hard look at your relationship and see if perhaps it may be time for a change of scenery.  I am not a fan of divorce nor am I a fan of starting over in a new relationship. Dating sucks, having to find a way to meet people and do things with those you don't know or trust truly sucks. But sometimes it is the easier of the two evils when it comes to staying in a dead end relationship.

And I will give you a heads up, once you leave high school it gets very difficult to meet new people, unless you are like me and talk to trees.  I will talk to anyone anytime for any reason, and have been accused of talking to trees if they will stand still long enough. But a common complaint amongst my single friends are, "Where do you Meet People?".  I meet them everywhere. While I am pumping my gas I talk the person across the island from me.  When I am standing in line I talk to the people both in front and in back of me.  When I am waiting in a doctors office, a mechanic shop, or a dentist office I talk to others who are sitting and waiting with me. You just never know when you might meet that person who will change your life for the better. Well that and the fact that I work from home, most of my conversations are with dogs (And yes some days they answer back).  And I crave human interaction with those who may bring new ideas and new thoughts to the table.

I thrive on diversity, I love learning about new cultures and always welcome new and challenging ideas, but that is just me. That is why I try hard to encourage feedback from my readers.  I love reading comments even negative ones as long as it starts a a dialog with others.  As long as the comments are respectful and a sharing of an opinion I am good with it. Now if you start slamming someone or saying you are so full of crap I will delete your comment and ignore all from that point on.  Sometimes on my facebook I even delete folks who are rude or insensitive to others.  My facebook wall my rules respect always even if you don't agree.

But I think there is entirely to much violence and disrespect in the world.  I think as a society we are losing our ability to communicate in a civilized manner with those we don't know or don't see on a daily basis or who have a different view on the world, and most don't realize that every word you put on the internet regardless of the setting can and will be found by someone who is making a judgement call regarding your ability to do a job, handle a financial loan, or even applying for college. Keep your words soft and sweet because you never know when you may have to eat them. Is a favorite expression of my husbands.  He knows that words can cause as much damage as physical blows and at times silence is the best policy, at least in our household.

You need to take a long hard look at every aspect of your life if you are going to follow your bliss.  You cannot spend 5 minutes a day being happy if the rest of your life is in the crapper. That other 23 hours and 55 minutes will outweigh that 5 minutes and make it appear mute in the bigger scheme of things.  Taking steps to discover yourself is great, but if all you are going to do is research it and not do anything with it, why waste your time. Roll back over and continue your life as a sleepwalker, you are not ready for the changes it will require to find your own personal bliss.

You don't have to take major steps every day. One little thing can often times turn into a new journey.  Sometimes it is the journey of self exploration that helps you discover the path you are meant to be on. Sometimes it is learning to give to yourself the way you give to others that helps you realize what is wrong with your life and how to fix it.  Sometimes it is just realizing you have been sleepwalking through life and merely existing that makes you realize you have already lost 10, 20 sometimes 30 years of your life doing the bidding of others and you wake up one morning and realize that you are no longer a spring chicken and you have nothing to show for all those years of playing by the rules and being what others expect you to be.

I think this often happens to people in their 40's and 50's. I think that is why it is called a mid life crisis.  You wake up one morning while sipping your coffee and realize that several decades have gone by and you only have a few more left in the work force and suddenly you begin to question am I really happy or I merely existing.  I know in my 20's I was so busy trying to fit in and do what was expected of me I didn't have time to worry about if I was happy.  When I hit my 30's I discovered a new sense of confidence I hadn't know when I was younger and suddenly I realized that time was passing and I wasn't really happy. Yes I had moments, and some great memories but happiness was an ideal I just didn't understand. When I hit my 40's things started to click.  I realized that soon my kids would be gone and I would on my own for the first time in my adult life. I had no one to blame for being miserable other than my own life choices and my own decisions.

I began to dread the whole empty nest syndrome that so many women experience when major life changes occur.  Children grow up and move on with their lives spouses leave or die and suddenly you find yourself with to many hours in the day and not enough to fill them.  Many women turn to charity work as I did. Finding some happiness in helping others. But that is a short lived happiness because when doing charity there are 100 sad stories for every 1 happy ending. There are so many you cannot help and so many who are beyond your help, and some who just refuse to help themselves.  So you cannot find your peace and happiness in that alone.

Now I do find great joy in the work I do.  I find those happy moments that keep me motivated and those breakthroughs that to others may seem mundane or to little to count. But to me every single one of them is a small miracle and a confirmation that I am on the right path. Every time something happens I celebrate it, it may not be a huge party with 100 of my closest friends but I might splurg and buy myself a cup of my favorite coffee, or a little trinket I have been putting off for a special occasion, or even just a pat on my own back for recognition of a job well done.  That keeps me going during those dark days when I question why I am doing this.

But I want more. I am no longer satisfied just helping others, I want to help myself.  I want to find that long lasting happiness that can only come from a life well lived. I want to be able to go to my grave and know that I lived life to the fullest, not just in sporadic moments.  I want to be able to know that I took that walk on the wild side and did something so totally out of character for me that those around me wondered if I had lost my mind. Just because I can.

I don't want to be defined by my job title or my life title (life title: mother, daughter, sister, friend, rescue worker, etc...).  I want to be me, the most honest me I can be.  I want to be happy not just in my job but also in my life. I want to follow my dreams and my goals and see how far I can travel down those roads.

I love writing, that is why I am doing this blog. And why I have done several blogs over the years ranging in subject matter of dog training, advice from the Crone (Creative Researcher of New Experiences) and even matters of the heart and bedroom.  I have not continued on any of those because that was not my bliss.  It was fun but after a while it became more of a chore than a joy to do.

Sometimes you just have to have a sit down with yourself and if something is no longer working adjust it, recycle it, or walk away from it. I think it makes those in my life a little nervous that I have the capability of doing that because I do walk away from things that don't make me happy and I do not look back and wonder if I made the right choice.  I made the right choice for me at the time and 2 years from now I may be a completely different person and that situation may be perfect for me, but if at the time it didn't work and it didn't make me happy, and I couldn't adjust it to make me happy then it was time to leave it. And if 2 years from now it makes me happy I may revisit it  but things are never the same the second time around. People change, circumstances change, and we change.  So be warned, although I try hard not to burn my bridges I do know that what I am leaving behind will never ever be the exact same with someone else or at somewhere else.  You cannot love two people the exact same way, that is the wonderful thing about love and happiness, it is every evolving and ever changing.

So to thy own self be True.  Never allow the moment to define or change you.  Before making any life altering life choices take a long hard look at the situation. Once gone it can never be reclaimed.  Once changed you will never have the same mind set or the same outlook no matter how hard you may try to get back to where you were. You can only move forward and hope for the best.  I try hard to prepare for the worst, hope for the best and accept what comes with dignity and respect.  But that is just me.

I hope my blog today gave you all some food for thought. I know many of you are sitting there going, she is nuts and has no idea what she is talking about. That is fine too.  Different strokes for different folks.  What may work for me may not work for you and I don't expect it to. But this is my way of remembering my journey and the gamete of emotions I went through during it. It is my way of looking back and going Oh so that is why I made that life altering choice. Or WTH was I thinking moments are lessened.

Until Tomorrow blog buddies, Stay safe, stay sane, and be happy.

I find a lot of inspiration in music.  When I am blue it can lift my spirits, when I am angry it can help me exercise my inner demons. It can motivate me to try harder and be stronger and to be who I was born to be.  Love Mary J. Blige many of her songs touch my heart in ways that other artist haven't or cannot.

A brand new Year a brand new You

One week into the New Year I wonder how many have already given up on those New Year's resolutions they made figuring the new year would automatically bring a new you just because the calendar changed.  With the New Year new beginnings have begun in my life.  I am discovering things about myself I never would have thought possible.

I have discovered that I can be many things that I never thought viable.  I had my first brewing class over the weekend. I am learning to make homemade beer. Now I don't care for beer, but I figured that was about as far out of my comfort zone that I could get without going completely off the grid.  I discovered I loved learning about brewing.  The smell of the wheat as it seeped, the smell of the malts boiling.  The feel of that golden liquid as it poured into a holding tank for fermenting.

As I carefully drove home trying hard not to spill all my hard work I discovered that by stepping outside my normal boundaries and taking a walk on the wild side I felt very alive.  I had tried something new and I had succeeded.  I won't be able to sample my first batch for 30 days but it was fun. I cannot wait to do it again.  I also discovered that Beer comes in all kinds of flavors and that the amount of cook time can actually create a beer that has a chocolate flavor. Who knew?

I also discovered that I am far more capable than I ever would have imagined with a little guidance from a pro.  I got to meet some new people who I never would have met had I stuck to my normal boring routine.  I got to do something I never would have tried if I had not taken my own advice.

Sometimes it takes stepping outside those very high walls we create around our lives to find something we truly enjoy.  Sometimes it takes taking a walk on the wild side to bring out our inner Goddess and allow our creativity to bloom.  Doing something that we never would have considered or thought we would enjoy in order to learn something new about ourselves.

I hope that everyone enjoyed their weekend and hopefully others learned something about themselves this weekend. If you didn't then you need to do something out of your comfort zone. Do something you never would have considered before. You never know if you will or won't enjoy it unless you try it at least once.  I used to have a saying "I try everything once, twice if I was to drunk to remember it or I liked it".

I did my first brew class on 3 hours sleep because I was so excited I couldn't sleep the night before.  I did the brewing in a garage where it was COLD.  And I am not a huge fan of the cold, but to be honest it was exhilarating.  My teacher went into detail about the different kinds of beers and how they are created.  He explained it from both a historical point as well as a chemistry class.  I got to play with a centrifuge that was used to mix up the yeast.  I felt like I was back in chemistry class in high school only this time I enjoyed it.

I met a wonderful lady who it turned out I had a lot in common with. We found ourselves talking every free moment we had and learning from each other. This was her second brew and my first.  I plan on returning and eventually making the investment in my own equipment to be able to do it at home.  But in the meantime I will enjoy the comradary I found in the brewing class.

I also got to see a blacksmith class, I want to try that too. It looked fun heating the metal in a furnace then beating it with a hammer until it yields to your ideas and becomes a thing of art.  The girl who was doing that class was making a bottle opener. Who knew you could create art with such a simple appliance.

I have been telling others they needed to try new things in order to discover where their passions lie.  I will never open a micro brewery but the idea of making something for myself to share with friends and to master excites me on a whole new level.

I chose a simple recipe that was inexpensive to create in hopes if I messed it up I wouldn't be laying out a lot of money in supplies.  But I am already dreaming of the other brews I can try to create.  Brewing is a combination of math, chemistry and cooking.  It is following a recipe but using your own creativity to create something to enjoy.

Now I know that brewing isn't for everyone and many people who don't enjoy beer or have someone in their life who enjoys beer are probably going what exactly is the point of this blog.  The answer is easy, never assume you won't enjoy something simply because you might not personally enjoy the end product.  You can always give away the end product, but the experience itself may teach you something about yourself.

I found that succeeding on brewing my first batch gave me a sense of accomplishment and pride I didn't anticipate.  I found that having an end product to take home with me filled me with pride for a job well done.  If you aren't into beer how about a pottery class or a knitting class?  Something that is outside your normal boring boundaries.  Just take a walk on the wild side and do something completely unexpected.

You never know what the end result may be.  You might discover something about yourself that you never knew.  You might discover you hate it and never want to try it again.  But in the end you will be one step closer to finding the real you. The one that got lost in the shuffle of life.

So with the beginning of the second week of this new year I want everyone to promise themselves they will do something new. Something exciting and different that they would never have tried before.  It doesn't have to be drastic or expensive, there are to entirely many free classes offered you can check into.  I don't care if it is cooking, knitting, brewing, or even stained glass. Do something different.

Step outside your comfort zone and find the real you just waiting to be discovered.  How can you say you would never enjoy it if you don't take a chance and try it first.  When we were kids we often turned our noses up on foods that we never wanted to try but our parents kept at us until we finally took a taste and many times we discovered they weren't near as nasty or disgusting as we thought.

Life is a lot like that.  As children those around us encouraged us to try new things.  Our parents, our teachers, our friends. Where would we all be if we had never tried something new. We would all be still eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or worst fish sticks.

Life is a buffet but if all you are eating is the salad you missing out on a smorgasbord of taste.  There are so many things just waiting to be explored. There are new tastes, and smells, and textures just waiting to be experienced.  Never rule something out until you have taken the time to at least give it a shot.

I hope my blog today gave you something to consider and something to think about. I hope everyone takes that challenge to takes a walk on the wild side and do something so completely out of character that those around you begin to wonder if you have lost your mind.  Make life interesting and it can be fun.  Never settle for hum drum when you can have the entire orchestra playing for you.

Until Tomorrow my blogging buddies, be safe, be sane, and be happy.

Justify your Actions to No one but always be prepared to Legitimize all Actions to Yourself

This is the phrase that was running through my head when my eyes opened this morning and I thought to myself what a perfect title for my Blog today. Many of you may be scratching you heads going what is she talking about.  Has she finally gone round the bend. Well to be honest I went "around the bend" years ago.  I little insanity in your life is good. It shakes things up and keeps life interesting.

What I am talking about is, this is your life and you are the only person who has to live with the consequences of your actions.  You may be judged by others by the actions you take but their opinion is just that, their opinion. In time they will either move onto to others to judge or forget what it is about your life choices they disagree with.  But you have to live with any and all actions you take regarding your life for the rest of your life. If you can rise every morning and face yourself in the mirror and know that no matter what actions you may have taken they were legitimate actions in the pursuit of your dreams and goals then you can continue on the path you are following.

Many times change is difficult for those who do not understand why they are necessary.  If it aint broke don't fix it is a common phrase used in polite society.  Others may see your desire to find your own personal bliss as a selfish act because it upsets their view of the norm for this life.  That may because they are still sleep walking through life, doing what has to be done and seeing no reason for making any changes. It may be because they feel that by you seeking your own bliss in some way threatens their reality or the comfortable life they have fallen into.  It may simply be because they aren't brave enough themselves to take actions to find happiness and are content to merely exist.

When people begin to do things to make themselves happy and take that control away from those around them, people often react negatively. When I decided to return to school as an adult, single Mother with 3 children I was told by many that I was wasting my energy, money, and my time.  That I needed to focus on caring for my children and concentrate on the day to day life I was living. Instead I was looking at the big picture.  I knew that without an education I could never offer them the life that they deserved. That I could not make the money I needed to ensure them with the basic necessities of life such as shelter, food, and clothing without assistance from those around me.

I was miserable because I hate having to ask others to help me take care of the responsibilities I took on myself.  My children did not ask to come into this world, I made that active choice when I conceived them.  My children did not ask to be born into a home with a single Mom, that was my decision to go it alone when I divorced their Dad.  My children did not ask to simply exist on the barest of necessities. That was a decision I made when I dropped out of college before starting my family.  These were choices I made.

I took a long hard look at my life and decided in order to provide them and myself with a better tomorrow I had to find a way to provide for them. I had to find a way to increase our income level to something that would ensure that they would never go hungry or be homeless. And hopefully by making the decision to return to school and get my degree I made the right decision.

Now my children are grown and you would think to yourself, she did that for purely selfish reasons, but in reality I did it for all of us.  Although my children are grown and gone I have set a role model in place that they can look to and hopefully be inspired by.  I am becoming the person I was meant to be and no longer existing as the dull droid I had become.  I not only bettered my life but I also helped them see their world in a new light.

There are two things that make you grow as a productive member of society.  College and travel, both things expose you to new ideas and new concepts for life. Through both you are able to see how others live and how things are done differently from place to place. In college you are challenged to think outside the box, many of us for the first time in our lives.  Through travel you see and experience first hand how others may handle similar circumstance to our own and how everyone regardless of where they live face similar challenges.  Both allow you to step outside your normal boundaries and experience life in a new and exciting way.

Would my children have survived had I not gone back to college?  Yes we would have continued on in the same manner as every generation before theirs existing. We would have paid our bills, asked for help when we couldn't and done without when no help was available.  I wanted more, for them and myself.  I wanted to change the legacy of our family and hopefully make it a brighter one for all those who would come later, namely my grandchildren and great grandchildren. Has returning to school changed us as a family.  Yes, it has taught my daughters that if you want something bad enough you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it a reality.

This fall I will finish my bachelors degree in mathematics.  I will then begin my masters degree and sit for my CPA certification. Now this isn't going to change the world as I know it, or save anyone from a dreaded disease, but in some small way I have impacted my own life and the lives of those around us. Because I returned to school and continued my education I have set a background for success for those who say it cannot be done.  I have shown that you can be a single mom and work a 40+ hour workweek and still make time for a family and a life.  I have shown anything worth having is worth working for and that following your dreams is never the wrong thing to do.

I will never paint a masterpiece, I will never compose a piece of music that moves the souls of the masses.  I will never walk on the moon, find a cure for cancer, or even find the answer to life burning question "Why are we here".  But along the way I have motivated others to take the first step towards finding their own bliss.  I have encouraged and guided those who may have been struggling with some of those hard questions and helped them find the answers they sought.  I have done many small things which to me may equal up to those big things I will never do.

Every new day is a new chance to improve your life.  Every morning that you open you eyes is a good day. Yes bad things happen and sometimes things go wrong and sometimes well, sometimes you just want to role over and say you know what I just don't feel like fighting the good fight today.  And that is alright. We all need personal days when we veg or allow our minds to wander where they will and to lead us towards better and brighter ideas.  But if we do not take active steps to pursue what makes us happy, if we do not take active steps towards finding the things in life that make us who we were born to be. We will forever be stuck in that in eternal loop of woulda, coulda, shoulda until one day we wake no more and our lives will have been wasted.

I was planning on using today's blog to share tips and tricks for avoiding the things that may sidetrack us away from finding your own personal bliss.  Quoting the words of others or perhaps even sharing a story or two from my own personal experiences of setbacks I have suffered along the way.  But when I opened my eyes this morning this phrase was running through my head. I quickly jotted it down before it was lost in the business of the day to share it with you my readers.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, both the good and the bad things. The good things keep us moving forward, the bad things help us stop for a moment realize how fleeting our time on this planet are and how we must utilize every precious moment we are given.  Tomorrow is history, the future is a mystery the only thing we really have is to today.  Don't waste your todays, you have no guarantee of how many tomorrows you will get.  And I would rather go to my grave knowing I did something towards becoming all that I can be than risk dying knowing that I never took a chance, never pushed those box walls and never truly lived.

I hope my post gave you some food for thought. I hoped it made others realize that no matter how silly your dreams and goals may be to others, they are yours and yours alone. Own them, make them a reality, never allow anyone to tell you that you can't if you know in your heart that you can.

I hope all that read my post are enjoying them. I am doing all I can to stay true to my promise to write something every day. I am finding it easier and easier with each passing day, but I still struggle on occasion. Did I blog today?  Was it worth the time it took to publish it?  Will anyone read it are still questions I hear in my inner voice.  But then I realize that yes although those who are reading it aren't many there are some, and hopefully those will find the courage and strength they need to pursue their own dreams and goals and yes bliss.  That in their actions others will find their own role models and determination to do the same. I am truly hoping that this blog has the ripple effect. Even the smallest of stones creates ripples in the water around where it lands.

Until tomorrow my friends, stay safe, stay sane and stay focused on your bliss and take the steps necessary to find your true happiness and true joy in this life.

You can either spend your free moments dreaming of the tomorrows you want or you can take active steps to make it a reality. Which will you choose?

New Years Resolutions and finding your bliss

Many times we make promises to ourselves and others during the New Years celebration, some may be not to drink so much in the coming year or lose that pesky 5 lbs that has been haunting us for the last decade. Perhaps it is to stop smoking or take better care of bodies. But the majority of people do not stick with their New Years Resolutions. They usually last a week at best and then we are right back to square one.  Doing the same destructive behavior we promised to give up just because we were changing our annual calenders on a wall.

When you make a commitment to finding your bliss you may find your internal demons fighting with each other. One may be telling the other that this is a waste of time, you never finish anything, you never accomplish your goals, you never do what you say you are going to do (at least if it for yourself).  Don't listen to them.  This is just your past trying to influence your present and your future.

Finding your bliss isn't going to happen over night. It isn't going to magically appear on your horizon because you want it to.  It is a journey of self discovery and of finding out more about yourself.  I was once told by a very wise grandmother that you cannot truly love someone else if you do not love yourself first.  I have taken her advice to heart.

Women often lose their own identity in the process of supporting a spouse or raising children.  We often times forget what really makes us happy between carpooling to the Soccer matches or making sure that our husbands suits get picked up at the cleaners.  I ask that for this coming year instead of making New Years resolutions you enter into a contract with yourself.  That you will take the time to do something, anything no matter how small that brings a smile to your face and laughter to your lips at least once a week. Be that making time to have coffee with that friend you have all but lost touch with, or spending that extra 10 minutes in the bathtub or shower just because it feels good.

Do something for yourself in the coming year, don't make promises that you probably won't even remember 6 months from now. Take your own happiness as seriously as you take the well being of those around you.  Learn how to take personal time, be that 10 minutes or 24 hours and just do what makes you happy.  Turn the ringer off on your phone or screen your calls and only allow those who support your dreams and goals.  Surround yourself with positive people who will understand your desire to be a better,  happier person.

Don't allow those voices in your head to dictate how you will live your life.  Tell them if they don't have anything helpful to add to the conversation to shut the hell up.  Make sure that in the coming year you make yourself a priority in your life.  If you have always dreamed of painting and really enjoy the feel of brush in your hand and canvas covered in paint, do something to make that a reality.  Start watching videos on painting, invest in yourself and your own well being to buy a handful of paints and a couple of quality brushes and some canvases.

We all have strive, we all have bills, and yes we all have doubts. But until you take a stand and say this is my life and I am going to be happy, nothing will ever change.  If you find yourself sitting in a room thinking about how miserable your life it then it is time for a change.  If you count the moments until you can fall back into bed and put just another day in your journal, then it is time for change.

If you cannot find a great reason to climb out of bed then it is time you found something that makes you happy.  Volunteer your time to help others, start doing something for yourself, find something anything that makes you happy.  Life is way to short to be miserable and you really don't want to wake up 20 years from now filled with shoulda woulda coulda.  It is much better to look back on the things we try and say OK I did that and well it wasn't fun so I didn't do it again. Or better yet I tried that once wasn't that great but what the heck lets try it again just to make sure.

I would much rather go to my grave knowing that I lived a life filled with new experiences and joy than one filled with missed opportunities.  Take that chance, feel that emotion, learn to dance in the rain.  Embrace life because once it is over it is over, there is no do over. There is no second chance at happiness. Once a moment is passed that is a moment lost that can never be recaptured.  If you try something that has always intrigued you and it doesn't make you happy you can check that off your list or even say OK I tried it didn't like it so not something for my life right now.

Now I am not advising anyone to run out and do something stupid or dangerous. But if every morning you rise and have the same old cup of coffee with the same old creamier. Take a walk on the wild side, try a new blend or better yet try a different drink. Life becomes mundane all to quickly and we all fall into those ruts we struggle to climb out of it, be that with our clothes, our hair, our jobs, our marriages, or even our life choices.

In the coming year open yourself up to new experiences, learn to take some chances.  Don't let another year slip by while you tell yourself some day I will (fill in the blank).  Take active steps to make that dream a reality, do something even if it baby steps to bringing that dream into your reality.

Until next time my friends, stay safe, stay sane and most of all enjoy your life.

Brandy is a foster in our home and with our Rescue she has learned the secret to being happy just enjoy life as it comes and never miss an opportunity to smile.