Sometimes life can be rough, harder than it should be. Sometimes things just get the best of you until there just is no escaping it. Sometimes it is really hard to find your bliss no matter how many things you have tried or how hard you look for that silver lining in the dark rainstorm cloud. We all have those days even those of us who are seeking our own personal bliss.
You get up and discover you are out of coffee. But you plaster that smile on your face and continue on, saying its ok I can grab a cup on the way to work. You go out to your car and you have a flat tire. OK time to stop is shot because you are changing a tire instead of having that extra 10 minutes you needed to make that all important pit stop for a cup of joe. You grit your teeth take a deep breath and smile anyway. You get into traffic and every slow person in the country decides today that they want to run their errands and you are convinced they are in front of you.
Your day has started stressed, you try to count your blessings. You try to find the silver lining, you try to smile and be positive because you know if you don't the rest of your day will go to hell in a hand basket and fast. That is the way it always works. It never fails the attitude you take is the attitude you get from others. So you try extra hard to get that vinegar out of your system during your commute to work. You sing along to the radio at the top of your lungs at every angry song or motivational song you can find. You count your blessings in your head hoping that by concentrating on the good will override that overwhelming urge to smack the crap out of the first stupid person you see. But to no avail, you arrive at work late due to the slow drivers, you still haven't had your first cup of coffee for the day and you just got a huge grease stain on your favorite shirt because you had to change your own freakin tire because you are the only person on the planet capable of noticing that your car had a flat and your loving spouse didn't bother to notice it tell you before they left for work.
OK bad mood firmly in place. The day is shot and you are just waiting for the next bad thing to happen to completely mess up the rest of your day. Wouldn't it be nice if we could rewind, back up crawl back in bed and start the day over. But we cannot. If you day continues to get worse which it often does our mood just continues to darken and our desire to be happy continues to diminish, only now we are riding in that truly dark place that often times makes us want to make those around us as miserable as we feel ourselves. It is human nature, don't beat yourself up for it. We all have bad days. We all have those moments in our lives when we feel the world is out to get us and no matter how hard we try that we are being set up for failure.
When I am having one of those days I try really hard to find a quiet spot. It might be in my car with the windows rolled up and the radio turned off and just listen to the silence. For a moment stop whatever you are doing and go deep inside your self and listen to that inner voice that is always there saying its ok everything will be just fine. Silence all the thoughts racing through you mind and quieten your soul for just a moment. Take a couple of really deep breaths the kind that you can feel from your belly button up and just relax. Think of your bliss, a happy moment truly enjoying yourself and breath deeply, you sense of harmony and balance should return. That is the whole reason you should follow your bliss, right.
I have found if my heart is quiet my day will also follow suit. If this does not work do something that requires either a lot of mental energy, allowing yourself to get completely engrossed in the task at hand or something that requires you get moving. It may be something completely trivial that to others is a waste of your time, but to you right this moment may be your sanity saver. If you cannot find something to lose yourself in then try activity.
They have done studies and have learned that exercise actually releases endorphins that make you feel better immediately. This is often referred to as a runners high. It is a chemical reaction to your body's fight or flight reaction in your gut. If you are having a truly bad day and nothing is going right the only way to break this evil cycle is to change how you are viewing the things going on around you. I hate exercise as much as most people but hey sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
Endorphine Release - Runners High
When times are really bad and there is absolutely no escaping it there is only 3 natural things that will quieten your soul and hopefully help you re-establish your emotional balance. Turning within, which if you haven't found your bliss or something that makes you truly happy may not work. Losing yourself in an activity which will remove you from the stimulation which crowds your day and makes you feel like pulling out your hair, or activity. No one says the activity or the has to last for hours or that you have to even break a sweat, sometimes all it takes is brisk walk. Walk to your car, walk around the office, offer to go to the department 4 floors up to pick up that paperwork for a co-worker and take the stairs. Anything that will get your heart pumping and your blood flowing freely and allow you body to do what it does best. Relax and breath and allow your anger, frustration, and even resentment to slide away.
Taking it out on others will only make your day worse because when the storm passes and your realize you have just snapped the head off the shoulders of an innocent bystander or worse yet your boss or supervisor then you really will feel miserable. Sometimes we all have horrible moments in our life. We cannot control the actions of others only our reaction to those actions. Do not allow a moment of weakness and anger create a future you don't want to be in.
If you lose it with your boss you may find yourself without a job. If you lose it with your spouse you may find yourself single. If you lose it with a co-worker or friend you may end up losing that co-worker or friend. Into every life a little rain must fall. And as enlightened or trying to be enlightened folks we are sometimes we just have to find a way to quieten the storms that brew in our heads and hearts.
When my children were very young I would find myself at my wits end. I was having a bad day and the smallest error on their part would be just enough to push me over the edge. Instead of killing them all and starting over again with a new child I would remove myself from the situation. I would take a Mommy's time out. I would go in my room, close the door and just take a few minutes to compose myself and brace myself for whatever nonsense I knew lay ahead between that moment and bed time. I would try hard to remember that whatever was going on was a temporary situation and not a permanent life altering condition. I would count my blessings and all the times my kids had been great kids and done things that as their Mom I was so incredibly proud of them for taking the initiative and done. Things like actually picking up a mess without being asked, or surprising me with burnt toast and hot water with a vague taste of coffee to it for breakfast in bed. Those silly things that many people take for granted on a regular bases. I would remember how I felt in those moments and how happy I felt inside my heart and my mind.
Life isn't always about the huge defining moments. Sometimes it is those tiny happy moments we have to cling to the hardest to remember that all the pain and all the struggles make it all worthwhile. Its the feel of that first kiss with someone you are crazy about, its that taste of your favorite meal prepared just the way you remember it. Its the smell of that loved one who you can still picture every time you smell their favorite cologne even though they have been gone from this Earth for what feels like a lifetime. It is those happy moments that get us through the hardest times in our life.
I have on occasion done the first two and still felt like crap and had to find someway to exercise my demons literally. Be that on a stair stepper I keep happy for just such emergencies while rocking out to a loud angry or motivational music. Or pushing my body just a little further in Yoga, or dancing around my kitchen or office to the fastest music I can find. Sometimes just finding something that I know will get my heart racing and my mind distracted for just a little while to help me escape that evil circle bad to worse emotions I may be going through.
Don't beat yourself up for being human, for getting frustrated or irritated at life. Life loves to push those boundaries to test just what kind of stuff you are made off. I have often had a major breakthrough after going through and surviving with style really bad days. Sometimes I think it just clears out the cobwebs and gives us a whole new perspective on our current situation and makes us take a long hard look at our lives to make sure we are still on the right path for us.
So for those who read my blog and who are going through bad times remember bad time don't last but strong people do. Take life with a grain of salt, or a shot of tequila whatever works best for you. Remember that although right at this moment it feels like nothing is going right and everything that can go wrong has gone wrong that this too shall pass. Tomorrow is a whole new day and a chance to make the future just a little brighter for yourself and those you care about.
I hope those who are reading my blog find some inspiration in my words. A way to get through those tough times and hopefully embrace those good times all the tighter. Try to make as many happy memories as possible whenever possible. Even if you have to create those happy memories out thin air. Money doesn't make people happy, the perfect life doesn't make people happy. The only think that can truly make you happy is you.
So until Tomorrow blog buddies, know you are loved by someone somewhere. Even if it that cantankerous neighbor who drives you crazy offering to cook you dinner or help you get your heater fixed. And know that you are not alone. But for now, be safe, be sane and be happy.
I thought I would share a personal happy moment with my readers. This was one of the last family gathering my family had before losing two of their eldest members. We lost my Nehe shortly after this and my Dad the following year. But this memory of me with all three of my girls will always be one of my favorites. The sense of family and togetherness our family felt. Everyone getting along and loving one another. The overwhelming sense of love both in this picture and in that room. This is me with all three of my babies, who aren't babies any more. I love this picture of all of us, it is one of my personal favorites.
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