After my last class I am reanalyzing my goals of being a CPA. I enjoy bookkeeping and financial advising and even taxation and how to advice people to keep the most they can in their pocket and make the most of the money they have coming in, but I do not see myself in a corporate position nor do I desire to have a ordinary run of the mill career. I know this may make it sound like I am unsure of what I do want but sometimes it is much easier to pin point what I don't want than what I do.
I have begun the search for a job that I really want to do. Something to work towards and trying to figure out what steps I need to take to make that dream a reality. I am enjoying the photography, it helps me to sort things out. I actually took a trip to our local zoo and got some incredible shots of the animals and learned that you don't have to travel to actually photograph more exotic animals.
I have been going through my wardrobe to find out exactly what I have clothing wise, which also helps me sort things out in my head and get my bearings. I can see where I have been and what I was thinking by looking at some of my clothing choices in the past. I can remember the things that were important to me last year or before that and know that I am no longer that person. The ideals and dreams have been stripped away to reveal the bones of my life as it currently is.
As I sort through stack after stack of clothing choices my mind is flooded with memories of wearing this outfit or that to an event shared with my family or for a meeting with those who I once believed held my future in their hands. I can remember the things that were running through my head and the beliefs I once held firm to. I can see the changes in my body brought about by healthier eating habits and healthier activities. I actually walked the entire zoo non stop for 4 hours with a camera bag on my back and never once did I get winded or tired. That for me is a major accomplishment. I was so engrossed by what I was doing that I didn't even notice I was wringing wet from the heat and activity, to me it was normal and just part of the experience.
I slowly put each item out for inspecting and trying on. Noticing how clothing that once fit my more rounded figure now hang loose or clothes that once didn't quite look right because of the cut or the style suddenly fit my changing body and mind like a guiding hand helped me choose them. It is a growing experience long over due.
I have realized that my priorities are also changing and how I feel about some of the people in my life is no longer the same. The core of my world is the same but I now see people with clearer eyes and a more accurate image of them. I understand that we are all human and as such we all make mistakes in the growth process called life. I understand now that we all have goals and dreams and sometimes those things that are so incredibly important to us means nothing to those around us. Sometimes we are blessed enough to have people around us who support those dreams and goals and sometimes we aren't. Depending on the goals and dreams and depending on the people we surround ourselves with.
I have also found that no matter what I am the coordinator of my own destiny and only I can make or break those goals into a reality. I began this blog as a journal of sorts, a way to track my progress and help me understand where I am and where I am going. To help me help others to be brave and hopefully follow their own bliss into being the people they were born to be.
Be that to take the leap into doing something so totally out of the norm that before they never would have been brave enough to try. Or maybe just to finally let go of their past and begin living for their future. Either way I help I feel that by doing that I can better help myself and hopefully have a positive impact on my world at large.
I have discovered that although my ideals and dreams are changing, this isn't a bad thing. That sometimes we think we know exactly where we are headed only to learn that we have taken a turn that lands us in a foreign place and perhaps a better place than we would have ended up at had we stuck to the original game plan.
I am still not 100% sure what I want out of life, but I feel with each passing day I am getting closer and that the choices I have made and the changes I have allowed to occur in my life are for the better. They have given me a chance to not only get to know myself a little better but to also know those I share my life with a little better as well. I have seen a side of them I would never have seen if I had stuck the main stream ideals I so firmly held to before beginning this journey.
I have seen the changes and thanks to the entries in this blog and the entries in my personal journal I am able to look back and see them more clearly. I am able to see what is truly important to me and what I need to do to take the next steps to make my life what I want it to be.
I know this may seem like a lot of rambling, and perhaps it is. But to me it makes perfect sense and hopefully if you are reading this you will gleam something from it that will make you take a closer look at your own life and hopefully make some changes or adjustments for the better.
Change is never easy but at times it is very necessary. In order to grow as both a person and a human you have to adapt or perish. You have to master new skills and release old grievances in order to fully live. You cannot live in the past because is behind you. You cannot live in the future for it is uncertain. You can only life in the present and take each day as it comes. But you can plan and dream of what you want and take active steps to make it a reality instead of sitting around waiting for it to come to you.
I still believe that everything happens for a reason and sometimes we just not blessed with enough knowledge to understand why something that feels so incredibly horrible and painful can be beneficial in the long run. Sometimes change hurts, sometimes it hurts so bad you don't think you will ever get past it or survive it. But the reality of life is this, life continues on. Days becomes night and months pass far to quickly the older you get and sooner or later you have to stop for a moment and just enjoy the beauty that surrounds us all, I learned that one from the photography. It has taught me to look closer at situations and to take things for what they are, and at times to change that perspective a little so you can get a clearer picture of what is really going on in your life.
You won't always get what you want, sometimes you will get what you want the least. But eventually situations change, because change is inevitable and you cannot escape it. People come and go, jobs change and management is replaced with new leadership. You cannot control every aspect of your life but many things you can change and the first and foremost you have control over is how you react to those changes.
If you need to get mad then get mad, if you need to shed a tear then do so, without the fear that others will think you are weak or that your outburst will be judged by those who love you. We all have bad days even those of us who always do their best to look on the bright side of life. Know that you are not alone but at the same time you are an individual and that we each have our own dreams and goals.
Never be afraid to follow your dreams, never be afraid to try and make your goals a reality. Life is way to short to be miserable and if you allow others to keep you from doing what makes you happy you will find yourself regretting listening to someone who wouldn't hesitate to follow their own dreams or do whatever was necessary to make their reality yours. Never listen to negative people and don't allow their negativity to infringe on your happiness. Do what makes you happy even if it is only a few moments of your day, or a few hours out of your week. Take baby steps and learn what you need to do to make your goals your reality. Take that mountain one step at a time and eventually you will find yourself on top of the world looking back on your path and knowing that although it took you a while to get there that you did it and that nothing is impossible if you believe in yourself.
I hope my blog entry today has given you some food for thought. I hope that it has given you something to think about and that you make just one tiny change in your immediate universe for the better. Do something so not your norm that you experience an emotion or even a thought that you wouldn't had you stayed within the boundaries we all surround ourselves with to give us the impression of being in complete control of our life.
Take a walk on the wild side and live life. I tell people I don't want to arrive at my grave in perfect condition and an orderly fashion I want to slide in sideways screaming "What a ride". Follow your bliss because it isn't going to magically appear on your doorstep, you gotta go out there do the work and find that very elusive creature. It exist but will only show itself to those who believe enough in it and who are willing to do the work required to make it a reality.
Until next time blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane and be happy.
This is a video of famous failures that continued to dream and continued to try to make their dreams and goals a reality. I hope it inspires my readers as much as it inspires me.
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