I have been wallowing in self pity. It seamed that everywhere I looked all I saw was failure. I was unhappy with the way my education was going, I was unhappy with how my finances were going. I couldn't afford the photo equipment I wanted and to be completely honest some times I just felt like I was beating my head against a brick wall.
First one thing and then another pushed me back first a step then two until I came to the realization that the only thing that was holding me back was me. I was allowing these minor setbacks to dictate how I would feel and how I would live my life. So I did what I always tell others to do when all else fails, try something different.
First my funding for my education has been revamped and it looks like I won't be graduating when I planned. But is that stopping me no. I refuse to allow something as minor as funds stop me from becoming what I am destined to be. So I picked myself up dusted myself off and said OK the traditional way of doing this isn't going to work for me what else can I do to get where I want to be.
I contacted my school and discussed testing out of some of my classes with them. It is not only doable it is cheaper than the credit hours I need to finish my degree. I also learned I can continue my education independently. I can take classes at my local community college and apply those credit hours as I can afford them to my long term goal of having my masters degree in accounting.
I learned that some colleges will even let you write essays and papers regarding your life experiences in order to skip classes and qualify for what is commonly called amongst the secondary schools as life credits. That was a huge relief off my shoulders.
Now for my photography. Well money is tight, I have some previous medical bills, my darling husband is getting ready to go under the knife and unfortunately our insurance doesn't cover 100% of our medical expenses. Yet another set back at least financially, so I came up with alternative ways to earn the equipment I want to invest in photo equipment and creative ways to earn some extra cash not only to help pay for our increasing medical bills but to also help carve the path I choose to follow for my bliss which includes photography. I also discovered a lot of the fancy equipment can be made out things as simple as a car window reflector instead of a light bouncing board, and something as simple as a sheet mounted to the ceiling with thumb tacks works great as a simple backdrop for doing portraits.
In the meantime though I am doing freelance writing and that is going to pay for those wonderful toys that I day dream about, and that cannot be made at home from simple materials. I have already paid for a macro tube and a remote trigger for my camera using the credits I earned doing reviews of products I use and liked.
I also learned I can sell my photos online and make a little mad money. It isn't instant cash but it is a doable source of income for my creative outlet and it gives me a chance to share some of my photos with the world at large. I am no longer content to simply share my photos on facebook and other networking sites. I want to sell my art work to those who may lack the imagination or ability to do their own.
I guess what I am trying to get at in this blog is if you want something bad enough regardless what mountains may stand in your way use your brain to figure out how to make it happen. Don't give up just because it isn't easy. Nothing in life worth having is simple or easy. Things don't come to those who dream about them, they come to those who get out there bust their butts and make it happen. Don't wait for destiny to come to you. Go out grab her by the ears and say "listen here, this is going to happen you can either help or get out of my way, because either way its going to happen".
I have wallowed in self pity long enough. I have pissed and moaned about how sucky my life is right now and you know what I am over it. I am tired of being a victim of circumstance. I am tired of things I have no control over ruling my world. I am tired of being sad and depressed and beaten down by the life I have been given. It is time for me to stand up and say "My Turn".
Regardless what mountains or speedbumps may lie in my path, I am going to do what makes me happy. If those in my life cannot get on board then they can be left in my wake. I am not hurting anyone with my bliss I am not taking valuable time away from things that need doing. I am simply making the investment in my own happiness to chase my own dreams and live my own life. It aint perfect and I really didn't expect it to be. But I am keeping it real and that is the whole purpose for this blog.
Sharing my ups and downs and hopefully inspiring others to chase those dreams they dare to dream. The world is filled with a wide variety of people. We all have gifts and talents that we are born with, and if your talents take you on a path you might not have envisioned for yourself all the better. Stepping outside your comfort zone is good for you. It helps build character and it helps you discover who you truly are.
So if I have to impart a single piece of advise to you at this junction, it would be this. Be who you truly are. Not who you think you should be, not who you family and friends want you to, but who you truly are. Those who truly love you will accept who you are and those who don't well you don't need that kind of negative energy in your life anyway.
Until next time blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane, and be happy.