I began this journey as a self exploration, to finally after all these years get to know myself like I know others who share my life. For the first time in my long existence to put myself first and foremost in my thoughts and actions, if only for a few brief moments a day or one day a week. I have explored many different paths during this journey and have many more I plan on trying to see if perhaps they too may be a good fit for my growing awareness of not only myself but as my universe as a whole.
I am still on occasion getting the negative Nilly who swears my interest and passions are in some way taking away from my quality of life. Those who feel my time would be better spent doing something for them instead of myself. But I have also learned how to turn off those voices in my head that have been a constant reminder that I am not good enough, smart enough or pretty enough to accomplish the goals I have set for myself.
I have learned to step outside my own safety bubble and take risk that before this journey began I never would have been brave enough to pursue. Because I have learned that failure is part of the journey and without it we cannot learn nor can we evolve into better people.
I have also learned that happiness is addictive. I try very hard to work within a set budget or use materials that are readily at hand. But even with using the things I already have to follow my bliss I still find myself daydreaming about the day I can afford bigger and better toys for my passions. Be that photography equipment or kiln for glass bead making. I have become addicted to that adrenaline rush that often accompanies trying a new thing for the first time and the endorphin rush from completing a project and being proud of that labor and creativity invested.
Along my journey's path I have also been blessed to meet some of the most amazing, intelligent, supportive, loving people on the planet who have often stepped forward out of the blue and helped me learn and evolve. And regardless if the passion took or was passing I will always treasure those people and their giving nature to advice and guide me towards more information, advice from others within that sacred circle of knowledge. I have not only learned about myself I have also learned quiet a bit about humans and their capacity to help another that they are in no way connected with.
I have seen the better side of humanity. Something most of us are never able to see because of the constant flow of negative people and onslaught of negative things in our direct line of vision. I have been able to see people in a whole new way and vastly improve my original thinking regarding human kind as a species.
I have played with fire ranging from shooting off fireworks, which I have been afraid of in the past, through setting steel wool on fire to capture some amazing photographs. I have fitted a rifle to my shoulder and shot through the center of a target at a decent distance and learned that you are the master of your own destiny. I have gone places and experienced things that had I not taken this journey I would have missed out on. I have learned what is making me happy and what steps I need to make in order to further my journey of self exploration and self discovery.