Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Getting creative in following your bliss

Sometimes the things you want don't come easily. Sometimes you have to wait or work or even at times settle for just a tiny bit short of what you may have originally wanted.  Sometimes you have budget, do without something else or even come to realization that although you really want something it just isn't the right time or you aren't in the right place to make that happen right this second.

Should you give up on following your bliss, NEVER.  I have been wanting a macro lens for my new camera but the price tag has given me nightmares. Almost as much as I spent for my camera body itself.  I have several macro filters which give me much closer shots but is like reaching for that brass ring only to feel it slip through your fingers.  I can take some pretty awesome shots with the filters I spent 16 dollars on but every time I look at one of my shots I think to myself that could be so much better if I have a macro lens instead of just macro filters. 

I have tried stacking them (screwing multiples together via the threads on the end).  I have tried playing with the settings on my camera to adjust lighting and film speed and yes even worst case scenario playing around in my digital darkroom.  But I feel that my efforts are falling just a tiny bit short of what I really want.

Am I giving up NO.  Am I going to wait and save and eventually purchase the lens I want, maybe.  I have been doing some research regarding what exactly is a macro lens. Watching videos, reading articles. I did find a fascinating on on how to create a macro lens for a point and shoot with a magnifying class but nothing quiet fit what I wanted and the picture quality I wanted to capture.

Although I take great pride in the photos I have taken and some have been rather amazing especially for someone who just very recently picked up a DSLR for the first time. I am always keeping my eye towards the future. Doing research and asking those in the know in order to further my knowledge and hopefully figure out exactly what would work for the lowest price, therefor enabling me to grow and hopefully improve as a photographer.

In the meantime I have become very proficient in the digital darkroom.  Learning just how far I can push my photographs to get exactly what I want and what is fabulous composition instead of just ok shots.  I have also learned that I can digitally enhance photographs to set the scene and tell a story even without the high tech toys I long for.

I have learned that every shot isn't going to breathtaking or even in focus and learning to live within my current restriction.  I have learned that composition is everything in photography. You may get an amazing shot but if the background blends or the camera decides at the last moment to switch to a different subject you may just be wasting your time.

I have also learned that it takes roughly 100 shots before you will finally get that shot you are going after. Partially due to shadows and lighting, and partially due to struggling with subject matter. That lighter colors and darker colors are the absolute hardest to capture on film because the camera doesn't see life the same way the human eye does. I have learned about fill lighting to help bring definition to darker subject and learned about bouncing lights using white poster board or reflective car window shields.  I have also learned that off everything I do in my daily life that 30 minutes I carve out to actually fire my camera is on some days the absolute best 30 minutes of my day.

It gives me something to look forward to, a treat for myself if you will for doing all those things I know I have to do but so don't want to do, like washing dishes, or making the bed.  I have also learned that my passion is a journey unto itself. One I never would have gone on if I hadn't been willing to work for what I wanted and wait until the Universe decided I deserved it.

You may be asking yourself why am I rambling about macro photography and what pertinent information it has in following your bliss.  The answer to that is this. Sometimes you may want something will all your heart. You may daydream of finally having that one thing that you truly believe will make you happy.  You may plan and scheme and talk about that one thing that you really believe will give you happiness. But if you concentrate on only that and not the journey itself you are cheating yourself of the experience of growth. The possibility of learning something along the way.

You may be ignoring the life lessons you were meant to learn in order to prepare yourself for that wonderful moment when the thing you dream about is actually in your hands.  You may even miss out on some very amazing moments that because you were so focused you forgot to look around and notice the little things that life has to offer you in order to help you grow into the person you were born to be.  I am unsure who said it but I do know it is true.  Life isn't about the moments between breaths.  It is the moments that take your breath away.

So I hope my rambling today has helping someone who may be struggling with following their bliss or someone who is considering following their bliss.  Finding your bliss and having your bliss isn't the main goal of this journey. Experiencing new things and putting yourself in a learning frame of mind is. Following your bliss is about not only finding what makes you happy and making it a reality.  It is about learning more about yourself and your world at large.  It is about enjoying the journey and not focusing so much on the end goal.  It is about opening yourself up to new possibilities and the fact that perhaps that end goal isn't all it is cracked up to be or that perhaps the Universe or your higher power has something different in mind for you.

Following your bliss is about all the scrapped knees and busted elbows along the way. It is about all the amazing people you will meet on your journey and all the amazing things you will see.  You don't have to travel the world to experience new things. Yeah travel is awesome and getting the see the world would rock but sometimes you bliss can be found as close as you own back yard.  It just takes viewing the world with a new perspective and allowing it to come to you when it is ready.

You cannot force something to occur just because you want it, sometimes you have to work really hard to get where you want to be.  Sometimes you have to learn to accept failure before you can experience success. And those failures can teach you so much more than success ever will.

I hope my blog today has given some of my readers food for thought. Sometimes you just gotta improvise and learn to do what you can do when you can do it and how you can do it in order to get where you want to be eventually.  Life is a learning process.  It is about loving those closest to us, appreciating the blessing we all have in our lives, even if sometimes those blessings are hard to recognize and most of all enjoying the ride.

Until next time blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane, and be happy.


Some of the amazing shots I am getting as close as my own back yard. Sometimes people will search the ends of the world trying to find what they had all along. Sometimes people will falsely believe that it takes all the money in the world to make them happy. The reality is this. Happiness is a state of mind. It isn't a goal or a journey, it is about knowing that what you are looking for is as close as right where you are. Make the most out of life. Learn to take great joys in those special moments that make life worth living.  At the end folks, life is about what we did in the time we were given, not what we did in the time we never got.

If you would like to follow where my journey is taking me between the bogs I invite you to check out my photography site on facebook. It is a chance to see exactly what I am up to and exactly what I am learning along the way. It isn't just about photos it is also about life and the magical roller coaster we all experience from day to day living it.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Following your bliss and the fallout from those actions

I learned something about myself today, or yesterday I should say.  But most of last night was a fog, thanks to a couple of glasses of my homemade wine.  I learned that when life hands you lemons if you don't have sugar in your pantry it is really hard to make lemonaid.  I got into a huge fight with a family member last night. We both had different perspectives on how I was living my life and some of the life choices I am making.  I was told that my bliss was interfering with their happiness.  That because of the things I am passionate about I have become indifferent to things they felt should have a priority in my life.  I tried to explain it to them from my perspective but the conversation just continued to escalate until she terminated the conversation by hanging up on me.

Now I may be wrong about this, but the last time I checked I was an adult of consenting age and my father was gone so although I lacked a parent I also don't require a supervisor or approval of my actions from someone else. Now it would be nice to be in agreement with someone else at all times, but life isn't going to let that happen. We each remember things in our own way and we each choose the paths that we choose.  I was told that all I wanted to talk about were my blisses.  Now the way I remember it was I have been attentive and supportive.  I have put things that are important to me on a back burner to listen and be there for this family member but they felt the need to attack me. Accusing me of being insensitive and uncaring for their feelings.

Perhaps I am a tad bit crankier of late and a little less considerate of others, but I have also given up smoking 3 weeks as of tomorrow and the way I see this is they should be far more understanding of my lack of ability to be a nice person while I am going through withdrawal from nicotine.  But according to her this has been an on going event in our shared lives.  She forgets that at one point she made mention of taking her family and relocating far away from her "home" and that might possibly make me a tad bit more over protective of my emotions.

Now you may be asking yourself why am I sharing all of this in my blog. The reason being is that since I didn't get to state my reasoning for my actions or lack of actions I felt these needed to be shared if not with her then with you my readers.  Sometimes following your bliss can cause stress and turmoil in your day to day lives. Sometimes those who cannot or will not follow their own will strike out at you because they feel the time you should be giving to them you are giving to other things. And that perhaps your priorities have shifted.

I can honestly say that this has been a very interesting journey of late.  I am learning more and more about what makes me happy and what I need to do to eliminate certain stresses from my life. If that makes me a selfish egotistical person then so be it.  But I refuse to continue on as a doormat for those in my life who feel they have a right to dictate how I will live my life. Be that by avoiding those who cause me stress or simply finding ways to fill the void left by those who would choose to leave it.

I don't like being a heartless person, I really don't.  I am a passionate loving person who only wants to be happy.  I don't go out of my way to create chaos or unhappiness for others.  I try really hard to be a good person and do the right thing. Often at times at the cost of my own happiness in the transaction. But as of late I have felt the need to no longer stay silent and allow others to rule my life. Be that family or friend, professor or classmate.  We all have things that we have to face in our day to day lives that we really don't feel like or want to do. But many things in life we do have a choice in. how we spend our time is amongst those things.

I may lack people skills or the ability to say what I am trying to get across but I also know that her version of the story was not entirely accurate. I have asked others with memories of the mentioned events and they agreed with my take on the whole issue.  Some days I think people create chaos where there is none.  I have tried hard to look at it from her perspective, I really have.  I have weighed the things going on in her life that I have been made aware of and tried to excuse her bad behavior for stressful circumstance. But I am not the first person in our family she has treated rudely nor sadly will I be the last.

I don't know maybe at some point you have to weigh the pros and cons of allowing people access to your personal life and whether they bring joy or frustration with their presence. Perhaps I just need to walk away for a while and let her sort some things out.  Sometimes in the past when I have had major falling out with people or changes in our life paths I have had to take time to just give it some time and a lot of space and things have a way of either correcting themselves and sometimes you just decide that the stress that accompanies that persons presence in your life just isn't worth the unhappiness it brings.  I have had that happen as well and is why I don't speak with many members of my family now.

I really miss my Dad and am unsure what he would advice regarding this matter. She was way over the line in many of the things she said but at the same time he had a hard rule about family. Even though from time to time he too took time away to cool his jets and think things through.  I love my family, or at least most of my family. Some of them are truly dirty rotten scoundrels but that is a story for another day.  But sometimes those closest to us are the ones that can cause the most damage.  They say things that are best left unsaid feeling that because they are family they have a right to.  No one has a right to say things to another person that are hurtful unless those things truly need to come to light.  Sometimes keeping your opinion to yourself is the wisest move because with time everything looks different.

I just don't know and since the passing of my Dad I really don't have an older wiser voice to advise me.  For some odd reason I have very few people in my life that I trust enough to actually listen to.  I have been ill advised in the past by those who may lack the experiences I have had or the time on this planet I have survived.  I am really sorry for the depressing blog today but wanted to give others some food for thought. Be wary of hurting those closest to you. For tomorrow is not guaranteed.  If something were to happen to either of us the survivor would bear the memories of wasting those few remaining moments in anger.

With that I close my blog for today.  Am going to work on my photography and try to get some things worked out in my head regarding where I go from here.  Life has definitely been interesting since Dad passed.  And many times I have needed his sound advice and his loving shoulder.  Right now is truly one of those days.

Until next time blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane and be happy.


 
 
Trying to loose myself in the things that make me happy. Took this shot today may not be the most exciting shot of my photography passion but love how the water literally stops in midair.  Am learning all I can about my camera ranging from how to do lunar shots to fire shots and how to do water shots for different effects. These day I take my happiness where I can find it.