You Bliss and a Healthy Mental Status

Sometimes you wake up feeling crappy. No matter how happy your life may be there are just some times that your health lets you down. Having something to focus your energy on may help you get past those days. This morning I awoke with a migraine from hell.  Light, sound and movement hurt. As I stumbled around my home trying to get accomplished the things that could not wait like feeding our animals and walking our dogs I covered my eyes in the darkest glasses I could find, a knit cap pulled down over my ears to deaden the sound and kept having to stop and just breath until the nausea passed.  But my determination to get through it kept me going.  I stopped focusing on the pain and started focusing on what needed to get done today.

Today is my husbands birthday and not a good day for being sick.  Way to many things to get accomplished and way to much counting on my ability to do what needed to be done.  By focusing on those things I was able to beat back the pain and make it more manageable, well that and pain killers via my doctor.  Am not found of prescriptions but am less found of pain.

Today is all about getting all of my work done so I can spend the weekend enjoying and celebrating his birthday.  It is about working towards my goal of having a garden large enough to provide my family with healthy food over the summer and into the winter months.  It is about getting things on my bliss list lined up and baby steps taken towards my long term goals.

They say that happy people are far less likely to suffer as many illnesses as those who are unhappy with the lives they are leading.  But even as someone who enjoys her life even I become sick on occasion.  I live with a constant ongoing battle with sinus infections.  They start above my eyes and spread throughout my face, teeth and even throat and lungs on occasion.  Yesterday I got up feeling a little off, not feeling sick but not quiet feeling well either.  Today I opened my eyes to pain and agony and wishing I could crawl back under the cover and go back to sleep. But life continues on whether you feel like living it or not.  So I pulled myself out of bed, put on my clothes, tried hard to remember that my dogs were waiting patiently to be walked and my darling husband was counting on me to be on my game today because he is pulling mandatory overtime and cannot miss a day of work simply because I am feeling under the weather.

I am finding happiness in the things I can do something about today. Focusing my energy and attention on the important things in life, like my seedlings that are beginning to get their second leaves and the lettuce that I just yesterday got into their summer containers.  Trying to stay in the dark as much as possible and keeping the sound level in my home on a lower level.  I am beginning to feel much better thanks to some home remedies and a very low dosage of pain killers from my doctor, but I feel that by focusing on things that make me happy and bring joy into my world I am able to get past the pain and hopefully get something accomplished with my day.

I know that many feel that following your bliss is a waste of time, that there are not enough hours in their days to get done what they have to in order to survive much less be happy.  I find that if I am not moving towards my long term goals I feel I have wasted a day of my life.  As I battle the constant flow of paperwork for returning to school the beginning of next month for the next stretch of my educational goals, and trying to get our garden in order on a very limited budget.  I am also battling a wave of bad luck on our finances but am still positive in my thoughts because I know that tough times don't last but tough people do.  Knowing that this is just a speed bump in our lives because I have lived long enough to see the big picture and I know in my heart of hearts that these issues will get resolved.

My stove caught fire yesterday, it was already on the list of things that needed to be replaced but that was a wake up call that moved it up on the list of things we needed to invest in.  I would love to go on a romantic weekend with my dear husband for our anniversary in April and I have things I am trying to get accomplished for friends and family that cannot wait until finances improve or I am feeling better.  So I continue on with the battle well fought. I find new ways to trim our budget and stretch our dollar just a little bit further. I get inventive on ways to save money and still follow my bliss with gardening and continue to shop for the lowest price possible for my new camera.

I do not allow my dark moments to interfere with my bliss or my long term goals. Anything worth having is worth working on, and worth waiting until the time is right to accomplish them.  It is a matter of weighing those dark times with the much brighter ones and remembering that this too shall pass.  That although I may have to find the money in our very tight budget for a new stove that once it is replaced I will have something bigger and better for making homemade goodies in and on.  That the one I have had for almost a decade now has served me well and that you get what you pay for (It was purchased as a single mom raised three kids with no help from their sperm donor).  That many happy family meals have been prepared on it and that although I will hate paying to replace it I can take comfort in the knowledge that my daughters learned to cook for their own families on this old electronic friend.  That I have shared breads, and cookies, and canned goods straight from my garden and from my kitchen with those I hold my dear in my heart and in my life.

My kitchen table also died this week. One of the legs were loose and my dogs got to excited about last walk of the day and bumped the leg which ripped it from its precarious position and caused it to come crashing to the floor.  In the process of sorting through all the paperwork and objects that had come to rest upon it, I found many things that I had been searching for but not found in the last couple of weeks.  My kitchen table often becomes the dead zone for things in our house. My gloves and hat were buried at the bottom as well as the books I had purchased for wine and cheese making.  Instead of morning the fact that I am going to have to replace that as well I try hard to remember all the wonderful times my family has spent around that table. The many meals we have shared with family and friends to celebrate both happy times and find solace in the darker times.

The many cups of coffee shared amongst friends talking about the woes and throws of our lives.  The homework done sitting at it with my children and the many family projects completed on its surface.  I would never have considered myself to be an optimist. I like to think of myself as a realist.  Plan for the worst, hope for the best and accept what comes in my life with dignity and respect.  So instead of being bummed out over loosing my antique kitchen table (It was my grandmothers) I have come to the realization that its fragile state is not suitable for our busy household.  That we need to downsize and get something more suited to house filled with laughter and great food.  Something that is both mine and my husbands (the table predates our marriage and relationship).  That the loss of it is just one more thing that will no longer just be mine but the replacement will be ours. A reflection of our taste together as a couple and key component in our lives.

My first batch of beer was ready to drink this week. It didn't turn out as well as I had hoped.  There is a lot of sediment in it and unsuitable for drinking.  But instead of being bummed out about all the time and money invested in that project I simply found another way to utilize it and still found a happy way to enjoy it. I found a super simple recipe for beer bread that turned that nasty tasting beer into something incredible and that is enjoyed by all in our household.  The recipe is simple and will share it in  my blog today as well as pictures of the finished product.

Beer Bread

3 cups plain flour
1/4 cup sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup butter (Melted)
12 oz beer room temperature

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Mix all but butter together in bowl, grease two mini loaf pans with butter, pour batter into the buttered loaf pans.  Melt butter and pour over the top of the batter in the pans.  This recipe makes 2 and they normally come in packages of 5 so you could double the recipe and make some to share as well.  Place pans in pan with sides (The butter may run off as the batter rises).  I let mine sit on the stove as it preheats to help speed up the yeast process.  Cook for one hour, allow to cool then flip out onto wire rack and allow to finish cooling.  Makes a great snack, side dish, you can also reheat slices of the bread using your oven and top with bruscheta or sweet sausage red sauce for a special treat. Did that last night for dinner and served with spaghetti makes an awesome appetizer for an evening of Italian cuisine.  It retains a little of beer taste without the alcohol content which burns off in the heat of the oven.  It has a crusty outer crust and moist dense center.  For bruschetta I slice mine and then reheat and pour fresh chopped tomatoes with herbs and seasonings over the top.

As you can tell cooking is also one of my many blissful activities.  I love finding new recipes and trying out new things and just enjoying life to the fullest regardless of whatever may be going on in my world I always take comfort in good food especially if it is shared with those I love.

I hope that whatever may be going on in your life, no matter how dark your day may be, that you find some comfort in my words today.  That although things may be tough and you may hate the life you are living right this second, you also realize that bad times are not permanent unless you allow them to become that way.  That if you focus on the positives in your life and are constantly moving towards things that make you happy, that you refocus your energy and make your dreams and goals a reality. Nothing is out of your reach if you keep reaching long enough for it.  Sometimes you just have to hear No 100 times before someone will tell you yes.  Never give up and never give in, and fight for what makes you happy.  Take your happy moments where you can find them. Never allow the discouraging words of others or the bad things going on right this second to allow you to give up your own hope or dreams.  Do what makes you happy and the rest will fall into place on its own.

Until next time Blog buddies, be safe, be sane, and be happy.

Finding your happy place even during emotionally Hard Times

Sometimes a little rain must fall into every life. You lose a job, you lose a partner, you may even lose a friend. These are the times that following your bliss is so much more important. That small glimmer of hope that life continues on and that you will be happy again is what gets us through those hard times.

We have all spent nights crying ourselves to sleep because what we thought would never happen, happens.  The loss of a parent or the loss of a loved one rocks our world and makes us stop everything. Suddenly the world we know has spun off it access and we are left floating through space with no idea how to get back to where we want to be.

Our world crumbles and we are emotionally drained and financially stressed.  Be that due to a lack of a second paycheck or due to medical bills or worse yet burial expenses.  We aren't sure how we are going to put food on our table and a roof over our head and yet we must continue on. Something I have learned in my many decades on this planet is the sun will always rise regardless if we want it to or not.

That is when following your bliss is so much more important in your life. During those times of emotional upheaval and the death and destruction of dreams of our future, we need to have something to hold firm to and continue to believe in. Something that will remind us that life continues on and the as people continue to have value.  That regardless if the loss of a loved one occurs we have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and continue to find joy in things that surround us.

I know at times it is difficult to see the silver lining to the rain clouds that surround us.  That we just want to climb into bed pull the covers over our head and pretend that it is all a bad dream.  That we aren't really going through whatever crisis has befallen our lives and that we will wake up from this bad dream.

They say there levels and steps to mourning. Be that the lose of a job or a loved one.  That at first we are in denial, that we refuse to believe that this is happening.  Once our minds catch up with our reality, then the anger begins to settle in.  We rail out at the things that caused our loss.  My stupid boss had no idea what I could do for this company.  Why did God take them, they were to young and had so much more life to give.  I cannot believe that they let something this minor destroy our friendship I thought it was strong enough to weather any storm.

The next step in mourning is bargaining.  If you will bring them back I promise I will be a better person, I promise that I will never take them for granted or ignore them again.  If my boss calls and wants to ask me back I will be the absolute best employee that company has ever had. I will work 40+ hours per week and never complain again about having to work weekends and late nights.

The next step in mourning is Depression.  We find ourselves unable to do the things that need to be done. We make excuses or lose track of time.  We over indulge in activities that we know are not good for us such as food or alcohol or we go to the other extreme and don't eat at all.  We cannot sleep we cannot eat, we cannot continue on in life as we knew it simply because that aspect of our life has changed.

The final step of mourning is Acceptance.  We find ourselves finally coming to terms with the loss and begin to move forward.  We aren't happy in this new life we have been thrust into and often find our mind racing back to happier times when we would actually enjoy our jobs or thinking back over those happy moments with that person who is gone.  But we are finally learning to accept it and it no longer rules our emotions and our actions.

During these times it is often most difficult to find anything that brings us joy and although these are the steps to mourning they are not always experienced in the order in which they are listed nor do they follow any set schedule.  You may find yourself jumping first to one emotion and then the next within mere moments of each other.  Striking out in anger at those closest to you and the next crying hysterically and begging God for another chance to make it right.  It may take years and sometimes even longer depending on the length of time someone was in your life, or how long you may have worked at a particular job.  These are all normal emotions and with time it will get easier but those scars and disappointments you will carry with you the rest of your life.  There is no escaping that fact.

The trick is to take those scars and make them art or to find some way to channel that energy into something productive for both yourself and your life.  Finding a way to work through those emotions and allow your heart and mind to heal.  Allowing your heart to love again, allowing your abilities to shine through again, and I am a very big believer that nothing in this life happens without a reason. The reason may not be evident to you right this second but it doesn't mean that it isn't there.

Often times we lose a job in order for an opening to occur in our life and for us to find a better one, one in which our untapped talents can be explored and developed. We might lose a friend because at that point in time we are on different pages in life. Sometimes those freindships fall back together sometimes they don't. It all depends on the individuals involved.  Sometimes we lose a loved one so that we can learn the importance of appreciating the people in our lives and learn to actually treasure the moments we have with them.  I know if you are going through a difficult time these are only words to you.  I have been there myself and know how much it hurts and how much we all hate having those feelings and those very confusing emotions ruling our lives.

When my Dad died I ran the whole course many times. At first in denial, making his final arrangements and making sure that everything that had to be done was taken care of.  My heart had not caught up with my emotions until his wake, at which I got very drunk and left early to lay in bed and cry.  Then I began the bargaining process of maybe this was a really bad dream, one that I would wake up from and hear his laughter and his silly jokes again.

Many days I would go back into denial, many days I would experience more than one of these emotions at the same time. Angry at God for taking him so young, but then in denial that he was gone. I would find myself picking up the phone to call him and share my news only to realize this was no longer a possibility.

I found myself crying over stupid stuff. A long time friend drug me out of my home during my healing process to go grocery store shopping. Now this may sound like a great idea but I broke down hysterically in the middle of the grocery store over cornbread.  I had promised to make him white beans and cornbread before he died if he would just take the medicine the doctors gave him and please eat something. He was drinking meals on the go since his stomach could no longer handle real food.  She simply wrapped her arms around me and let me cry it out. I know we probably looked like two very foolish old women standing in the middle of our local Foodlion crying our eyes out mine for my loss and hers for the pain her friend was experiencing. But sometimes that is what it takes to get through those hard times. Just the presence of a dear friend who understands your pain and is there for you no matter what.

I found myself falling into a major depression. I took time off from school to help have the time and the energy to lick my wounds and process my grief. Looking back maybe the best thing I could have done for myself maybe the worst. It gave me entirely to much time to think and sit and not have that deadline looming over my head. Sometimes the best thing we can do is forge forward, through the pain.  Find things that bring us joy and cling to those things like a life preserver.  I threw myself into finding out why my Dad died, investigating Cancer and what causes it and why it was so aggressive in his case. He was healthy, fell ill and couldn't shake it.  We all thought it was the flu or a cold saw several doctors who all diagnosed him differently. One this week another a week later and the final a few days before he died.

I found myself turning inward and taking a long hard look at my own lifestyle and the choices I made.  My Dad was counting down the days until he was old enough to retire. He didn't have a huge retirement coming but was excited at the idea of having the time to do the many things he had put off his entire life because he was working hard to provide for his family.  He was 18 months from retirement when he passed.

I processed my grief like eating a meal I didn't enjoy. One small bite at a time.  First dealing with his estate and medical bills, then I dealt with family and coworkers. Finding strength where I could and muddling through where I couldn't.  I found joy any place I could find it.  Snuggled in my favorite blanket escaping into a good book. At times allowing myself to cry and admitting to myself more than anyone that I was human and humans feel pain.  I also tried to make sure that I surrounded myself with joy.  I took the time to enjoy the beautiful sunset, or my favorite meal. Trying to force feed myself some of the sweeter things life had to offer along with the bitter I had to swallow.

When your world is falling down around your ears you will learn a very important life lesson.  The only think that is certain in this life is you.  You can be surrounded by those who care and those who want only the best for you but at the end of the day when the lights go down and you crawl into bed the only person you are guaranteed to be there is you.  Others may come and go in your life and although it is great to have a support system to help pick you up when you fall, you must be strong enough to both ask for that help as well as accept it. If you cannot find that inner strength then all is lost.

This is where your bliss comes into play.  You can find a way in that crazy time when you feel as though you are on autopilot to follow that bliss.  Mine was writing.  I did some of my most amazing writing during that period of my life. No one will ever read what I wrote but as I read back over the pages I can feel the pain that was burning in my heart and my soul.  I revisit it on occasion to remind myself that regardless of what may happen I am strong enough to survive anything that life throws at me.  In 18 months I lost my Dad and two grandmothers who I thought I would never lose.  And standing on this side of those losses I am once again standing tall and proud.  I may have had days that I crawled my way through the broken glass that was my life but I made it through bloody knees and all.

I took my happiness where I could get it and I learned to trust in those around me as well as in myself.  I am stronger for having survived it.  I had lost friends along my life path, sometimes those who were closest to me. But the loss of my Dad was the straw that broke the camels back. He wasn't just my parental unit he was my friend, he was my mentor, he was my hero.  I will always appreciate the time we were given and I will always try to live a life he would be proud of me for living.  But I cannot live my life for someone else. I have to live it for me.  I have to be true to myself, and follow the path of life that I am destined to follow. Be that alone or with someone else.  I cannot stick my head in the sand and pretend that I feel no pain or that things don't bother me.

But at the same time I cannot allow that pain to dictate what I do and how I live my life.  I continue on, every day climbing out of bed putting one foot in front of another and walking the path I was born to live.  On days I may stumble or even fall, but I pick myself up dust myself off and continue on.  I know that someday we will be together again in a place that there is no suffering and that there is no pain.  But until that day I must continue to take one breath at a time one moment at a time and continue to pursue my dreams and goals.

When I walk across the stage to get my degree my father will be with me.  He may be gone in body but his spirit lives on in me and in the faces of my children and grandchildren.  My Dad died with very specific instructions on how everything should be handled after his passing and made me promise him that I would finish my degree no matter what.  He only had a High School diploma and it was  very important to him that I get my college degree. He called it an investment in myself.  And so as I walk across that stage to accept the diploma I have worked so hard to earn he will walk with me and I know that where ever he is that he will be proud of me.

I have probably revealed way to much about my personal life in the blog today.  But I have several friends who are going through some very hard times right now.  I just want them to know that life does continue on, that although we love and we lose and may fall down along the way that there are people who are out there to help pick them up and continue the journey with them.  That regardless of how much it may hurt right this moment that it will get better and it will get easier but it will take time.

I hope my blog has given some of my readers food for thought.  Time is fleeting and it isn't something we are given an unlimited amount of.  A decade can fly by in the blink of an eye and once it is gone you can never get it back. Don't waste a second of this precious life chasing things that don't exist or put off following your own happiness for any reason.  It is better to live a remarkable life than to have a 100 years of nothing special.

Until Tomorrow Blog Buddies, stay safe, stay sane, and stay happy.

Keeping your bliss in hard economic times

I have heard many people say that being happy cost money, money they don't have in their budget.  Or that being happy cost time, time they don't have in their schedules to the rising cost of living.  I say being unhappy cost you a lot more in the long run. Additional medical bills for ailments that could be prevented by simply taking the needed time to follow your bliss.

Following your bliss can be expensive, yes if you allow it to be. It can cost in classes, materials, or even in expenditures not normally in your budget.  But it can also be inexpensive the choice is yours. If you want to do something you will always find a way. If you want to learn a skill you can often ask around of others who might know of a class you can audit for free (Audit: to sit in but not receive credit for the class).  There might be free or low cost classes offered through your local school, sometimes a local college, other times a local high school.  There are lots of folks who will offer free classes that you simply have to provide the materials needed to learn a new skill or try out a new hobby.  There are options.

If you passion is writing, it doesn't cost anything to set up a free blog and flex those writing muscles. If your passion is painting, you can often find second hand materials on such sites as Craig's list or freecycle available from those either updating their supplies or simply not doing something any longer.  You can purchase inexpensive which may not last as long but in the long run will help you get your feet wet and see if something is really your bliss verses laying out a small fortune for something you have always wanted to try but are unsure if it is something you will enjoy.

Craigs List City Listing

Freecycle Network

Another great option is check around at your local thrift stores and during warmer months yard sales. Many times you can find things you need for next to nothing, either on sale on through cash sales.  Get creative, recycle, reuse, and do what you need to do in order to follow your bliss without breaking the bank. Many thrift stores have 1/2 price sale days, it just takes a little research to learn when those days are. This is also a great way to build a basic wardrobe for next to nothing to begin living and looking like the life you desire.  I got my favorite pair of boots, which are english riding boots brand new with the stickers still on them at a Goodwill for 16 dollars and used my student discount to get a further discount on them which retail for around 85 dollars. I adore them, they fit like they were made for me and I have worn them many times over the last few months during colder weather paired with leggings and an oversized shirt or with jeans and a sweater.  Making that investment in yourself will  not only make you feel better it will make you look better in the long run. I don't pay retail for anything if I can help it. I am the Queen of cheap when it comes to following my bliss.

Goodwill

Ebay

Dollar Tree

Where there is a will there is a way.  When it comes to time, I say if something makes you happy you will budget your time to be able to pursue it, even if it is only on your down days, or once a month. You need to find what makes you happy and make it a priority in your life.  If you do not you will continue on the path of doing what you do every day and never realize your full potential.  You can spend your life merely existing or you can take that giant leap of faith and invest in yourself to make it a reality.

I have many passions that I enjoy. I enjoy gardening. One way that I cut my cost of pursing this passion I have started my own seeds using seed pods made out of recycled toilet paper rolls.  I save my own seeds from the plants I had the year before and often harvest wild seeds to keep it within our budget. The end result is doing something I enjoy while keeping the cost of doing it to a minimum.  I get food grade buckets from our local bakery for .99 cents a piece as containers for my little garden and drill holes in the bottom using my husband drill and a good sized bit.  This gives me something I can use from year to year without making the major investment in planters. I purchase the cheapest dirt possible and use a tea I make from compost from our kitchen and worm droppings I put I put in a recycled bathtub with a screen over the drain and a 5 gallon food grade bucket under it to add nutrients to the soil.

This doesn't cost us anything because it is outside and fed by the rain, which for the moment is still free to harvest in our area.  The cast offs would thrown away and the worms cost me around 5 dollars total at our local bait shop and reproduce freely in the rich compost.  When it is all said and done I save a bundle on the organic food I would be purchasing for my plants and end up with a healthy productive plant that helps to feed my family.

Sometimes following your bliss just takes a little creativity and determination.  I enjoy making wine and beer at home.  I harvest my own berries from my garden for the wine, the cost of the yeast is around 1 dollar a pack and it makes 5 gallons at a time using a food grade 5 gallon bucket. Instead of purchasing bottles I asked my friends to start saving me glass wine bottles and beer bottles and in exchange I share my end result. It would take me years to drink 5 gallons of wine anyway so the end result is I get my friends and family involved in my bliss, make it into a community project and all enjoy the end result which not only taste better but is healthier because it lacks the preservatives found in commercially prepared alcoholic beverages. I have a fresh batch starting as soon as I finish my last for the next holiday. Today I am getting ready to sweeten the batch I am preparing for Valentines day and at Christmas I gave bottles of homemade blackberry wine instead of paying for gifts for those I love.  Its a win win regardless of the cost because it makes me take that time to do something I love as well as sharing it with those important in my life.

Every person has a different list of things that make them happy.  You can often find free advise on line, free youtube videos to help you learn a new skill, as well as others who are following their bliss in a particular field and are more than happy to share that knowledge and skill.  It just takes opening your eyes and looking around to find them.  Once you master a skill it is best to help others who would like to learn the same skill, which not only increases your knowledge by increasing the circle of friends you have in that particular area but also gives you a network of brand new folks who can advise, instruct and hopefully you will all learn from each other.

For those who say they cannot afford to follow their bliss, I say you aren't willing to make that investment in yourself. Regardless of what you want in life you have to earn it. It isn't going to fall into your lap just because you want something. You must go out and seek it.  You must be willing to make time in your schedule or willing to invest in the basic materials to pursue what makes you happy.  You weren't born and fell into your dream job you had to acquire training and knowledge in the field, be that through school or many hours of doing independent research.  If you want something you have to put the work into acquiring it in order to truly enjoy the end result.

I hope my blog has given you ideas for pursuing your own personal dreams and goals. Always exercise caution when meeting new people from offline and make sure to let others know where you are going and take a friend along for safety.  There are some crazy folks out there and it is always best to err on the side of caution if they haven't been recommended by a trusted friend or if you are for any reason feeling uneasy about meeting those you have never met before.

That said, I hope my blog today gives you some ideas on how to follow your bliss on a budget.  How to do what makes you happy even during hard economic times and make yourself happy in the process.  Life is way to short to be miserable and even shorter if you allow it to pass you by without taking the time you need to find your inner happiness.

Until Tomorrow my blog buddies, be safe, be sane, and be happy.

Some ideas for creating a crafting space for next to nothing by utilizing craigs list and organize your space for following your bliss if your bliss is creating crafts.