Making space in your existing space for your Bliss

Have you ever dreamed of a room dedicated only to whatever makes your passion bloom?  Perhaps you dreamed of making a room of your home into your own personal retreat.  Instead of waiting for your kids to grow up and turning their bedrooms into that perfect crafting space or even a tranquil spot to enjoy a good book or just escape the hectic lifestyle so many of us live try multipurposing an existing area into an area that you can follow your bliss in our own little corner of your home.

My office area doubles as a food pantry. I know that is an combination but it works for me.  I can close the door and have an area to work and do what I need to do to make me happy.  I can leave the door open when I am simply brainstorming or putting the pieces together for a future blog or even just want a break from my work to talk to others in my household or let guest know I am not heavily involved and would welcome the break.

Many times we all have under utilized areas in our home. A garage that doesn't see much action other than parking our cars or a place for the kids to play on rainy days.  Perhaps it is a closet that is filled to max with things that we no longer need or want. I have seen some really creative uses of space when it comes to utilizing what we have in order to follow your dreams.  All it takes is a little creative energy and some thinking outside the box.

I utilize shelving I purchase second hand, making every square inch count for as much as possible.  Going up rather than out with items I need to find or organize for later use.  I often multipurpose items so that this season they are for one of my passions and another season they may be utilized to follow another.  My second bathroom has been converted into a fermenting room / growing space for our future garden by using a shelving unit that goes behind the toilet.  I can place my growing trays on the shelving unit. Replace the light bulb in the room with a grow light for providing the light needed since there are no windows. I do have to juggle things around as I work on multiple projects but find it very useful of a dead space rarely used in our day to day lives.

You don't have to wait until your children are grown and gone to pursue what makes you happy.  Everyone deserves a special corner for just what makes them happy. Be that a favorite chair in a corner that has a window for daydreaming or a collapsible table set up in a rarely used area for creating your art.

While following your bliss you will require space for setting up a work area, be that one that you clean up projects as they are completed or just have a space you can go and relax and unwind.   Not everyone is blessed with space to grow and flurish, some of us have to get creative in our space usage and find ways to make room not only in our lives but also in our homes for the things that make us happy.

Life without happiness is merely existing and troubles will follow you no matter where you go, but sometimes it is nice to simply escape to our dream world and create where before there was nothing. If you are writing, or painting, or making jewelry. As long as something gives you joy find time in your busy schedule for doing it. Make space in your existing home to follow your bliss.

I hope my blog today has given everyone something to think about. Hopefully a space to call their own and make into their creative space. A place you can sit down, take off your shoes and feel at home.  We all have things we have to get done in our lives. We all have things that need to get done in order to keep our lives running smoothly. But if you do not take time out of your busy lives to enjoy life you are merely existing and waiting for the time that you can be happy and for some those days never come.

If it is not one thing it will be another and when will you make time to follow your bliss?  When will be the right time to put yourself first and do what you are passionate about?  What if you didn't have next week or next year or even 10 more years on this planet. Do you really want to go to your grave knowing that you had all that untapped potential but never took the time to explore it or nurture it.  Your creations don't have to monetary value. They don't have to ever be seen by or shared with the world. They are something you do for yourself to make yourself happy.  They are creations of your inner soul that are meant to be done simply for the joy of doing them.

I have seen entirely to many people who make such great plans for when they retire, they are going to travel the world, or start that garden they dreamed of, or even start designing their own clothing because they have always loved to sew and design things that made them happy. Instead of pursuing those dreams while they can their lives were cut short and their ideas were lost in their death.  Never pass up the opportunity to grow and thrive and be happy. Never put off until tomorrow what you can begin today. If it takes you years to complete that first painting, or you only wear the jewelry you create while doing housework, at least you took steps towards finding your own bliss.

When we are children we find great joy in making things to share with those we love. What mother doesn't have a box filled with pictures painted by their children. Even if you have squint and turn the picture this way and that and try hard to remember what they said it was. Why should that joy only be limited to the very young or the very old.  Where does your creative joy lie?  What makes you happy to do just because you can?  What would you do if you had all the time in the world?

I have often watched scifi movies about people who live forever and wonder what did they do with all those centuries of life.  You rarely see one who became a great painter, or composed music that moved the souls of others.  Most of the time they are running around sucking the life out of others and simply existing.  If you had centuries to live what skills would you perfect?  If you were promised 100 years of life what would you leave behind as your legacy?

Never wait until tomorrow to follow your bliss. No one is promised tomorrow. Yesterday is past, tomorrow is the future, today is the present so enjoy the gift you have been given.  Do what makes you happy in the time you have been given.  There is no guarantee how many tomorrows we may enjoy.

Until tomorrow blog buddies, stay safe, stay sane, and stay happy.

To Thy Own Self Be True

Sometimes we all lie to ourselves. We figure if we keep our heads down and our mouths shut that the things we deserve will come to us.  That if we follow the rules and do as we are told that Happiness will magically fall into our laps and our dreams and goals will become our reality.  This isn't the way life works.

Life is hard, it has up days and down days.  Sometimes you are enjoying the sunshine and flowers and the next you may be going through the storms and sitting in the dark because the power has been turned off or gone out.  But the most important thing you can do is to be honest with yourself first and foremost.

If you aren't happy at your job unless a miracle happens that aint gonna change.  If you are in a relationship that doesn't stimulate you and make you grow as a person then why are you wasting your time and your energy.  I am not saying that every job and every relationship doesn't have its dark times.  We all have those moments we would like to shove our bosses off the top of our building or superglue him to his chair so he will shut up and let us do our jobs. And those days that you dream of tying your spouse to the bed and putting a ball gag in his mouth so he just cannot ruin our mood. But all in all you have to weigh the pros and cons of any and all relationships to decide if this is where you truly need to be.

Does it make you happy?  That isn't a 24/7 but do the good days outweigh the bad.  Does it help us grow and evolve into the people we were born to be, or does it hold us back and keep us boxed in a tiny little container we will never escape from?  Do you feel as though you are making a difference. That might be in the lives of your children, your co-workers, the people you provide a service or product for, or even just you immediate family?  If you cannot honestly answer yes to at least 2 of these 3 questions you make want to take a harder look at your life and decide if you have outgrown your current circumstances and it might be time for a change.

You don't have to quit that job, you could start researching about switching departments or progressing up the food chain at work. You might try a different location or even a whole new job classification. In today's economy a good job is hard to find and one that pays you well but drives you to an early grave may or may not be a priority in your life.  I try to make up a list of pros and cons and why I am staying and what would change if I leave list.  This helps me see things clearer than just living in that moment.  If you find yourself struggling to get out of bed in the mornings because you hate your job that much, it may be time for a change.  If you like what you are doing but really hate your boss you may try to transfer to working under someone who doesn't sap your creative spirit as badly.  If you cannot transfer to another department then you might have to consider start shopping around for another location to work doing the same job but with the possibility of future growth.

I don't recommend job hopping, it looks bad on a resume and it also lets employers know you aren't in it for the long haul, but always ask during the interview process what chance of promotion, additional training, or growth is there in any job.  Even a fry cook can dream of being a kitchen manager.  It is far better to know these things going into a job and refuse the offer than to work somewhere for a few months discover they omitted to tell you that you were hiring into a dead end job that you would be making the same widgets for the rest of your life. Never learning a new skill, never growing into your potential, never knowing what untapped skills you may have just laying beneath the surface that an employer could utilize.

If it is a relationship, people grow and change at different rates.  Have you ever had a relationship that you were in for an extended period of time and after a while decided for whatever reason to get out of and then you meet that person in a local store, or on the street and realize they are the exact same person you left a decade earlier.  That had you stayed with them you never would have pursued those dreams and goals that have made you so happy and done those things that while being with them seemed so out of reach.

Sometimes we have to make changes in our lives to make our lives better. Not all relationships end because of violence, or cheating, or any other reason that people use to terminate a relationship. Sometimes they end simply because as a person you outgrew them.  Sometimes a relationship can be salvaged when both parties are willing to grow and learn together. Get your partner involved in following your bliss, ask them to tag along to a class, or an activity that interest you.  Ask them about the things they would like to try or experience.  We all have a bucket list.  A list of things we would like to do before we die. Your partners may just surprise you, it not only gives you a chance to grow as a person but it also gives you a chance to experience some things you may not have thought about on your own.  And you never know you might actually learn something about your partner you didn't already know.

If your partner says there is nothing wrong with your lives together and there is nothing new that they want to try you may want to take a long hard look at your relationship and see if perhaps it may be time for a change of scenery.  I am not a fan of divorce nor am I a fan of starting over in a new relationship. Dating sucks, having to find a way to meet people and do things with those you don't know or trust truly sucks. But sometimes it is the easier of the two evils when it comes to staying in a dead end relationship.

And I will give you a heads up, once you leave high school it gets very difficult to meet new people, unless you are like me and talk to trees.  I will talk to anyone anytime for any reason, and have been accused of talking to trees if they will stand still long enough. But a common complaint amongst my single friends are, "Where do you Meet People?".  I meet them everywhere. While I am pumping my gas I talk the person across the island from me.  When I am standing in line I talk to the people both in front and in back of me.  When I am waiting in a doctors office, a mechanic shop, or a dentist office I talk to others who are sitting and waiting with me. You just never know when you might meet that person who will change your life for the better. Well that and the fact that I work from home, most of my conversations are with dogs (And yes some days they answer back).  And I crave human interaction with those who may bring new ideas and new thoughts to the table.

I thrive on diversity, I love learning about new cultures and always welcome new and challenging ideas, but that is just me. That is why I try hard to encourage feedback from my readers.  I love reading comments even negative ones as long as it starts a a dialog with others.  As long as the comments are respectful and a sharing of an opinion I am good with it. Now if you start slamming someone or saying you are so full of crap I will delete your comment and ignore all from that point on.  Sometimes on my facebook I even delete folks who are rude or insensitive to others.  My facebook wall my rules respect always even if you don't agree.

But I think there is entirely to much violence and disrespect in the world.  I think as a society we are losing our ability to communicate in a civilized manner with those we don't know or don't see on a daily basis or who have a different view on the world, and most don't realize that every word you put on the internet regardless of the setting can and will be found by someone who is making a judgement call regarding your ability to do a job, handle a financial loan, or even applying for college. Keep your words soft and sweet because you never know when you may have to eat them. Is a favorite expression of my husbands.  He knows that words can cause as much damage as physical blows and at times silence is the best policy, at least in our household.

You need to take a long hard look at every aspect of your life if you are going to follow your bliss.  You cannot spend 5 minutes a day being happy if the rest of your life is in the crapper. That other 23 hours and 55 minutes will outweigh that 5 minutes and make it appear mute in the bigger scheme of things.  Taking steps to discover yourself is great, but if all you are going to do is research it and not do anything with it, why waste your time. Roll back over and continue your life as a sleepwalker, you are not ready for the changes it will require to find your own personal bliss.

You don't have to take major steps every day. One little thing can often times turn into a new journey.  Sometimes it is the journey of self exploration that helps you discover the path you are meant to be on. Sometimes it is learning to give to yourself the way you give to others that helps you realize what is wrong with your life and how to fix it.  Sometimes it is just realizing you have been sleepwalking through life and merely existing that makes you realize you have already lost 10, 20 sometimes 30 years of your life doing the bidding of others and you wake up one morning and realize that you are no longer a spring chicken and you have nothing to show for all those years of playing by the rules and being what others expect you to be.

I think this often happens to people in their 40's and 50's. I think that is why it is called a mid life crisis.  You wake up one morning while sipping your coffee and realize that several decades have gone by and you only have a few more left in the work force and suddenly you begin to question am I really happy or I merely existing.  I know in my 20's I was so busy trying to fit in and do what was expected of me I didn't have time to worry about if I was happy.  When I hit my 30's I discovered a new sense of confidence I hadn't know when I was younger and suddenly I realized that time was passing and I wasn't really happy. Yes I had moments, and some great memories but happiness was an ideal I just didn't understand. When I hit my 40's things started to click.  I realized that soon my kids would be gone and I would on my own for the first time in my adult life. I had no one to blame for being miserable other than my own life choices and my own decisions.

I began to dread the whole empty nest syndrome that so many women experience when major life changes occur.  Children grow up and move on with their lives spouses leave or die and suddenly you find yourself with to many hours in the day and not enough to fill them.  Many women turn to charity work as I did. Finding some happiness in helping others. But that is a short lived happiness because when doing charity there are 100 sad stories for every 1 happy ending. There are so many you cannot help and so many who are beyond your help, and some who just refuse to help themselves.  So you cannot find your peace and happiness in that alone.

Now I do find great joy in the work I do.  I find those happy moments that keep me motivated and those breakthroughs that to others may seem mundane or to little to count. But to me every single one of them is a small miracle and a confirmation that I am on the right path. Every time something happens I celebrate it, it may not be a huge party with 100 of my closest friends but I might splurg and buy myself a cup of my favorite coffee, or a little trinket I have been putting off for a special occasion, or even just a pat on my own back for recognition of a job well done.  That keeps me going during those dark days when I question why I am doing this.

But I want more. I am no longer satisfied just helping others, I want to help myself.  I want to find that long lasting happiness that can only come from a life well lived. I want to be able to go to my grave and know that I lived life to the fullest, not just in sporadic moments.  I want to be able to know that I took that walk on the wild side and did something so totally out of character for me that those around me wondered if I had lost my mind. Just because I can.

I don't want to be defined by my job title or my life title (life title: mother, daughter, sister, friend, rescue worker, etc...).  I want to be me, the most honest me I can be.  I want to be happy not just in my job but also in my life. I want to follow my dreams and my goals and see how far I can travel down those roads.

I love writing, that is why I am doing this blog. And why I have done several blogs over the years ranging in subject matter of dog training, advice from the Crone (Creative Researcher of New Experiences) and even matters of the heart and bedroom.  I have not continued on any of those because that was not my bliss.  It was fun but after a while it became more of a chore than a joy to do.

Sometimes you just have to have a sit down with yourself and if something is no longer working adjust it, recycle it, or walk away from it. I think it makes those in my life a little nervous that I have the capability of doing that because I do walk away from things that don't make me happy and I do not look back and wonder if I made the right choice.  I made the right choice for me at the time and 2 years from now I may be a completely different person and that situation may be perfect for me, but if at the time it didn't work and it didn't make me happy, and I couldn't adjust it to make me happy then it was time to leave it. And if 2 years from now it makes me happy I may revisit it  but things are never the same the second time around. People change, circumstances change, and we change.  So be warned, although I try hard not to burn my bridges I do know that what I am leaving behind will never ever be the exact same with someone else or at somewhere else.  You cannot love two people the exact same way, that is the wonderful thing about love and happiness, it is every evolving and ever changing.

So to thy own self be True.  Never allow the moment to define or change you.  Before making any life altering life choices take a long hard look at the situation. Once gone it can never be reclaimed.  Once changed you will never have the same mind set or the same outlook no matter how hard you may try to get back to where you were. You can only move forward and hope for the best.  I try hard to prepare for the worst, hope for the best and accept what comes with dignity and respect.  But that is just me.

I hope my blog today gave you all some food for thought. I know many of you are sitting there going, she is nuts and has no idea what she is talking about. That is fine too.  Different strokes for different folks.  What may work for me may not work for you and I don't expect it to. But this is my way of remembering my journey and the gamete of emotions I went through during it. It is my way of looking back and going Oh so that is why I made that life altering choice. Or WTH was I thinking moments are lessened.

Until Tomorrow blog buddies, Stay safe, stay sane, and be happy.

I find a lot of inspiration in music.  When I am blue it can lift my spirits, when I am angry it can help me exercise my inner demons. It can motivate me to try harder and be stronger and to be who I was born to be.  Love Mary J. Blige many of her songs touch my heart in ways that other artist haven't or cannot.

Welcome to 2013 the Year of the New and Improved You

Welcome to the new year. It is time to begin your own journey into what makes you happy.  I sat up last night and worked on my own game plan for the coming year.  What I needed to do to make it happen what I wanted to experiment with or try somethings for the first time other for a second go round.  Last night I made plan because everyone knows a goal without a plan is only a wish.

I came up with a timeline for the things I want to accomplish in the new year.  I came up with estimated date of completion on several things I have in the wind that I will get accomplished this year as well as a list how I want to make many of my dreams a reality.

I even came up with a formula to follow for my blog, a blueprint if you will of what I want to concentrate on each day. That way I can plan ahead for those days that I have nothing to share that is going on in my own personal quest.  The list I came up with concentrates on different aspects of finding your own personal bliss ranging from websites I recommend as well as music that hopefully inspire others to find their own happiness in life.

I will also include Fun things that you may have never thought to try but just for a giggle is good to experience at some point in your life. Nothing to life changing or threatening just some good clean fun.  Tuesday from this point on are going to Tip days. Tips that I have found that are useful in finding your own personal bliss.  Things you can begin to do in small ways or big ways to find the things in life you get the most enjoyment from.

My first Tip for finding your bliss requires a little imagination and the ability to daydream for just a moment.  Find yourself a comfortable spot, grab a pen and paper.  Sit down and get comfortable and allow your mind to wander. Ask your inner being if you hit the lottery tomorrow and never had to worry about another bill for the rest of your life. How would you spend your time?  Would it be sailing around the world?  Perhaps it would be traveling to exotic locations?  How about living in a beach house and painting the ocean and the surrounding beaches?  Everyone has a different ideal. Everyone has a different bliss.

Now that you have dreamed your perfect life in your head I want you to write down in the center of that paper what that perfect life looks like. I want you to fill in as much detail as you can.  Are you a loner or do you share your life with someone special.  Are you independently wealthy or do you do a job you love? How do you spend your days?  Now that you have this wonderful life all mapped out in your head put it down on paper circle it. Around this circle you are going to brainstorm ways to bring this into your reality.  What are you doing for money? If you are working a job what kind of job?  What kind of training do you need to do this job?  From where you stand right this second could you find employment in that field or would it require returning to school or obtaining more education.  If you plan is to hit big on the lottery there are methods by which winning players actually employ to increase their chances of hitting it. Research that subject and get ideas on how to increase you chances.  But always have a back up plan regardless what your main source of revenue is in your dream life.  Have a plan B not to terribly far from the original game plan that you can employ to get where you want to be.

How do you spend your days in your dream life?  Are you painting or photographing your surroundings. If so take a class, invest in your dream by purchasing a camera, start writing out things you need to do in order to make this happen. Your destiny doesn't happen simply because you want it, to, it happens because you make it happen.

Next on this list who are you spending your time with?  Are you alone? Are you with someone special?  If you are with someone special do they have similar interest or they your complete opposite?  Finding the perfect match is often the biggest challenge in creating your dream life.  Many people turn to online dating but I have found that you can and will meet people in the most unlikely places once you open your mind and your heart to what you really want. I met my darling husband during a job interview for the same job.

Once you have your master plan brainstormed. Once you have a plan then begin to take action. This might be something small or something big, or maybe a combination of the two.  Always try to make some kind of progress in the path and in the meantime enjoy yourself.  Celebrate every milestone no matter how big or how small and remind yourself that every set back is a lesson learned and an experience gained.  Many successful people were huge failures before they became successes.  Success doesn't happen overnight nor does it happen when we want it to. It happens in those moments when we least expect it.

Now that you have your master plan and are taking steps, don't forget the most important part.  Enjoy yourself.  Don't be so determined to reach your final destination that you don't take the time to stop and smell the roses.  Enjoy every moment of the journey and if somewhere between point A and point B your long term goal changes because you discover that although you adore painting you really aren't good enough at it to make a living at then find something else you really enjoy or find something in that field that you can be passionate about. Be that working with artist to showcase their work, or perhaps working in a gallery or even teaching a painting class. You just never know.  Life happens when it is meant to happen. But if you don't take active steps to get where you want to be you will always be living in that woulda shoulda coulda life pattern.

And just for the record the most miserable people I have ever known have been rich. Money does not equate happiness, it often just brings along its own set of issues.  Then you are constantly worried about someone or something coming along to take away what you have worked so hard for. Find happiness where you can and in ways that money cannot buy. Such as true friends and people who care about you. Surround yourself with others who support your dreams and want to help them become a reality.  Do not allow those in your life and we all have them who want to drag you down or put down your dreams to rule your life. Never ever allow someone else to decide what is silly or a waste of time. It is your life and you are the only one who can truly make you happy or who can truly make you miserable.

This is a new year and a new chance to create the future you want.  If you are already in a good place in your career or life perhaps you just want to find a way to express yourself. Or you want to find a way to make the life you are already living better. Because you already have the man of your dreams, and the family you always longed for. There is no such thing as being to happy.  Pursue things you are passionate about regardless what they may be as long as they don't physically hurt someone in the process.

People that are used to you doing things their way are going to be opposed to this new and improved you.  They are going to try and beat you back into that neat little box they have created for you in their mind. They are going to tell you that you cannot do it, that you shouldn't do it, they are even going to make snide remarks either to your face or behind your back to try and convince you to stop. But if you allow them to stop you then you have no one to blame but yourself for not living the life you deserve.

Do what makes you happy, even if in the beginning it is only for an hour here and there, maybe it is something that you treat yourself to once a month.  If you do not take active steps to find your bliss you will wake up one day and realize that decades have flown by and now you are sitting thinking why didn't I do that when I had the chance. Do not live with regrets, share stories of your adventures  instead.  I would much rather regale my grandchildren of stories about how their grandmother for her 40's birthday decided to go bungy jumping than telling them about the good ole days when air was free and gun could be bought 3 for a penny.

Life is to short to be miserable and it will fly by in the blink of an eye and it appears to me the older you get the faster the time flies by.  So grab life by the horns, look it square in the eye and say give me your best shot.  I remember once reading you can either go to your grave in a well preserved body peacefully or you can slide into your grave sideways, screaming what a ride. I personally prefer the later, but I have always been a wild child and growing older hasn't changed that.

Do what you are comfortable with, don't do something because you read it in a blog or saw a video on youtube. Always research things to ensure your safety, but have fun. Enjoy life to the fullest and most of all enjoy the journey of finding yourself.

Well that is my tip for the day to finding your bliss.  I hope the first post of the new year finds you well and gives you some food for thought.  There are many ways to find your bliss this is just one method some do use to figure out what truly makes them happy. I will be sharing other ideas in future blogs if this one doesn't work for you or isn't a comfortable exercise for you to try.

But until tomorrow, stay safe, be happy and follow you bliss.