Monday, December 31, 2012

New Years Resolutions and finding your bliss

Many times we make promises to ourselves and others during the New Years celebration, some may be not to drink so much in the coming year or lose that pesky 5 lbs that has been haunting us for the last decade. Perhaps it is to stop smoking or take better care of bodies. But the majority of people do not stick with their New Years Resolutions. They usually last a week at best and then we are right back to square one.  Doing the same destructive behavior we promised to give up just because we were changing our annual calenders on a wall.

When you make a commitment to finding your bliss you may find your internal demons fighting with each other. One may be telling the other that this is a waste of time, you never finish anything, you never accomplish your goals, you never do what you say you are going to do (at least if it for yourself).  Don't listen to them.  This is just your past trying to influence your present and your future.

Finding your bliss isn't going to happen over night. It isn't going to magically appear on your horizon because you want it to.  It is a journey of self discovery and of finding out more about yourself.  I was once told by a very wise grandmother that you cannot truly love someone else if you do not love yourself first.  I have taken her advice to heart.

Women often lose their own identity in the process of supporting a spouse or raising children.  We often times forget what really makes us happy between carpooling to the Soccer matches or making sure that our husbands suits get picked up at the cleaners.  I ask that for this coming year instead of making New Years resolutions you enter into a contract with yourself.  That you will take the time to do something, anything no matter how small that brings a smile to your face and laughter to your lips at least once a week. Be that making time to have coffee with that friend you have all but lost touch with, or spending that extra 10 minutes in the bathtub or shower just because it feels good.

Do something for yourself in the coming year, don't make promises that you probably won't even remember 6 months from now. Take your own happiness as seriously as you take the well being of those around you.  Learn how to take personal time, be that 10 minutes or 24 hours and just do what makes you happy.  Turn the ringer off on your phone or screen your calls and only allow those who support your dreams and goals.  Surround yourself with positive people who will understand your desire to be a better,  happier person.

Don't allow those voices in your head to dictate how you will live your life.  Tell them if they don't have anything helpful to add to the conversation to shut the hell up.  Make sure that in the coming year you make yourself a priority in your life.  If you have always dreamed of painting and really enjoy the feel of brush in your hand and canvas covered in paint, do something to make that a reality.  Start watching videos on painting, invest in yourself and your own well being to buy a handful of paints and a couple of quality brushes and some canvases.

We all have strive, we all have bills, and yes we all have doubts. But until you take a stand and say this is my life and I am going to be happy, nothing will ever change.  If you find yourself sitting in a room thinking about how miserable your life it then it is time for a change.  If you count the moments until you can fall back into bed and put just another day in your journal, then it is time for change.

If you cannot find a great reason to climb out of bed then it is time you found something that makes you happy.  Volunteer your time to help others, start doing something for yourself, find something anything that makes you happy.  Life is way to short to be miserable and you really don't want to wake up 20 years from now filled with shoulda woulda coulda.  It is much better to look back on the things we try and say OK I did that and well it wasn't fun so I didn't do it again. Or better yet I tried that once wasn't that great but what the heck lets try it again just to make sure.

I would much rather go to my grave knowing that I lived a life filled with new experiences and joy than one filled with missed opportunities.  Take that chance, feel that emotion, learn to dance in the rain.  Embrace life because once it is over it is over, there is no do over. There is no second chance at happiness. Once a moment is passed that is a moment lost that can never be recaptured.  If you try something that has always intrigued you and it doesn't make you happy you can check that off your list or even say OK I tried it didn't like it so not something for my life right now.

Now I am not advising anyone to run out and do something stupid or dangerous. But if every morning you rise and have the same old cup of coffee with the same old creamier. Take a walk on the wild side, try a new blend or better yet try a different drink. Life becomes mundane all to quickly and we all fall into those ruts we struggle to climb out of it, be that with our clothes, our hair, our jobs, our marriages, or even our life choices.

In the coming year open yourself up to new experiences, learn to take some chances.  Don't let another year slip by while you tell yourself some day I will (fill in the blank).  Take active steps to make that dream a reality, do something even if it baby steps to bringing that dream into your reality.

Until next time my friends, stay safe, stay sane and most of all enjoy your life.

Brandy is a foster in our home and with our Rescue she has learned the secret to being happy just enjoy life as it comes and never miss an opportunity to smile.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Broken Promises and your Bliss

The first thing I thought about when my eyes opened this morning was I had forgotten to do my blog yesterday.  I was disappointed in myself as well as frustrated at the fact that something I had committed to I had not done.  I am all about promises.  If I promise something to someone I will move mountains and oceans to make it happen.  But I often find myself putting my own wants and needs on a back burner to get other things accomplished. Yesterday was one of those days.

I got busy, I got distracted, I got lazy.  I can come up with every excuse in the book while I didn't blog yesterday.  I can justify my not blogging by saying I have been doing it for 7 days and I needed a break, I can even say well I did something yesterday I haven't done in a really long time and found myself lost in it and forgetting about other responsibilities and obligations. But the truth of the matter is I let myself down.

I try hard to make sure I never let others down, my husband, my children, even my pets and friends.  But often times when it is something I want to get done I push it aside telling myself that I will do it later. I will make time later, I will get around to it later.  When this happens and it will, be it a day, a week, or sometimes even a year don't be to hard on yourself.  Try to remember you are doing this to make yourself happy. You are doing something most people never do and you are taking babysteps to accomplish it.

Yes I forgot to write yesterday, but I did take time to spend some quality time with my youngest daughter.  I forgot to write yesterday but I did take time to sit down with my husband and have a heart to heart regarding our relationship and where it is headed. I forgot to write yesterday but I did do something else yesterday that I really enjoy and have not made time for in a very long which is gaming. I am a sims addict, if you can call an addict someone who will do something for several hours in a sitting and then perhaps go days, weeks, or even months without doing it because my life just gets to hectic to actually make time to do it.

Promises are important and you really need to take those you make to yourself as seriously as you take those you make to others, but sometimes the reality of the situation is life just gets in the way.  As long as you get back on that horse and try to make the time to follow those dreams, and do those things that are important to you and that will bring you just a few more small steps towards your end your end goal in a day, a week, or even a year you are still making progress towards your end goal.

Sometimes we all have to take a down day and not do something towards that light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes we have to do something a little different or take the time to follow another path.  Don't think that just because you didn't do it yesterday or you cheated on that diet or even fell off the wagon on a habit you are trying to make go away means that you won't succeed long term.  It just means every now and again shit happens.

We all live hectic crazy lives.  We all suffer through those moments of insecurities and wondering if we are on the right path.  We all stumble and fall down on occasion.  The purpose of this journey isn't just to arrive at the end result of finding the things you enjoy and doing them.  It is also to enjoy the trip along the way.  It is discover things about ourselves and those around us and learn things that perhaps we didn't know.  It is about enjoying life again and not simply going through the motions.

So for those who think that they have let themselves down by not staying true to their course, or who might have taken a break from discovering the answers to those burning questions (What makes me happy) just remember that sometimes what makes us happy is taking a break.  Sometimes we need to take a step back and just breath.  Take a look at where we have been and where we are going and what we need to do to make it happen.

I will say that taking a day off during a period of time of schedule adjustments and family crisis has not dimmed my desire to find my bliss.  And that taking yesterday off gave me a chance to actually weigh the pros and cons of writing this blog and allowing others to track my process and hopefully inspire them to follow their own bliss along the way through my own ups and downs has given me additional food for thought.  It gave my mind and my soul a break and a chance to absorb where I have traveled to this point. What I have learned to this posting and what I need to do in future post to ensure that I try hard to keep those promises to myself.

So until next time my friends, remember if you don't take time for yourself and take care of yourself, then who will treat you the way you really need to be treated to be truly happy.  Later folks hope today finds you well and blessed, and hope that we all remember life is a journey and every now and then you have to stop and smell the roses or you aren't changing anything, just going through a different set of motions.

Photo done by Jennifer Akes digital enhancement done by Patricia Drach

Friday, December 28, 2012

Surviving the Worst and Celebrating the Best

As 2012 comes to a close I sit and remember all the things I truly thought would destroy me and remember the wonderful people who helped me get through it.  I also remember the amazing things I have accomplished and all the incredible people who helped me make it a reality.

This year I did a garden, a real garden. Not just a few plants but enough to feed our family. I didn't do this alone. I did this with a lot of help and advise from friends and family members.  I did this because it was something I not only felt I needed to accomplish but something that I felt would bring me great happiness and joy.  As I planted the seeds on the first of February and watched and tended those tiny growing things I found my confidence growing right along with them.  As the days warmed and temperatures began to take the chill from the evening air I set my plants out.  I also received plants and containers some from some of the most surprising sources.

I got seedlings from a neighbor who had heard I was doing a garden for some of the most amazing heirloom tomatoes you have every put in your mouth.  I got starer buckets from my Son in Law and Middle daughter who heard I was gardening this year and who provided me with so many buckets I didn't have enough plants to put in all of them.

When the weather turned Hot and my plants began to wilt my husband helped me carry water and purchased me a drip hose to water my plants.  When picking season came my youngest and my middle daughter came to help with this.  When it came time to store the food my Mother in Law helped me learn to can and make food that could be canned for enjoying our summer produce long into the winter months.  To all these people I am thankful. For all the advise from neighbors and friends and new friends I made along the way I am thankful.  Sometimes just deciding you are going to follow your bliss is enough to bring them out of the woodwork and help you find the assistance you need.

I lost my Dad in October of 2011.  I lost my Native American Grandmother in 2012. Two events I was pretty sure would destroy me.  I learned about herbs and animals from my Grandmother, her wisdom provided me with so much as well as her stable hand and caring heart will be sorely be missed and for the last year I have been dealing with my Dad's death and settling his estate. Something that I am truly surprised I survived and had it not been for many friends who listened to me while I ranted and carried me in times that I could not walk alone I would have lain down and died.

From the neighbors who cared enough to bring my family food on those days that I could not force myself to rise from bed, who held my hand and often times made me tea or just sat with me while I cried. Who didn't run screaming when I broke down in the grocery store and cried over something as stupid as cornbread, or turn their back on me when my mind turned to mush and I couldn't think or act on my own.  From the family members who were in as much pain as I was who held my hand helped me make the hard decisions regarding final resting arrangements and who listened to me while I babbled about how this was going on or that was going on and how I often felt as though I was losing what mind I had left.

For the friends who made time in their their very busy schedules to go with me to deal with the destruction of my family's home during the less lucid final days of my Father's life and turned the day around simply with their presence and strength.  For all those people I am thankful.  Sometimes it takes an entire village to help you survive bad times.

This year we helped a several dogs who all others had lost all faith in.  One an abuse case who came to our home with such issues that many felt she should be euthanized but now shares her life with a family of own and is adored and treated like the gem she is.  To the German Shepard left to die in boarding by its owner, a senior with health issues and no hope of ever finding someone who could love him and give him the home he deserved in his golden years.  These animals and the people who worked with us remind me daily that good does exist in this world.  That people want to help but often have no clue how to do that unless you ask them to.

Take strength from your survival of bad times, and learn something from them even if it only who your true friends are.  Take joy from your good times and celebrate the little successes. They make doing everything else so much easier.  By allowing others to help you make your way in the world you are that much closer to making your dreams a reality. You don't have to go it alone. We all have those in our lives who will step up and help us through the darkest days and be there to lend a helping hand when a goal is in place. Look around you today, thank those who have carried you during the dark days and those who have been there to celebrate the good times. Always remember you are not what you have survived but who you have become for having gone through them.

I hope my blog today finds all well and blessed.  I hope that you have taken something from me sharing some of my own personal experiences and that they helped you see your own lives in a clearer light.  I wish all a happy and productive day, until tomorrow I am outta here.


Thursday, December 27, 2012

Bliss what is it and why do we need it?

I have had many people ask since I began this blog what exactly is the point in finding your bliss?  Why spend so much time and energy on something that you may never find or keep?  My answer is a simple one. Life is to short to be miserable and if you can do something to change that why wouldn't you?  Bliss is that happy state when everything around you just feels right. It is those moments in your life that even during troubled times you find yourself revisiting in your mind.  It is the happiness that every living being deserves.

For some that might be baking, for others that might be sewing, or painting, or even writing. It is a creative outlet that you are born to do. Sometimes we can turn our passions into paycheck other times it is something we do in order to make ourselves happy when no other person can achieve that mental state in us.  It is the one constant that you have that you can always count on to lighten your mood and restore you mental and emotional charge.

Where do you find your bliss well that is a harder question to answer. For each person it is different.  Just like some people adore strawberry ice cream and other others prefer butter pecan. Everyone's own personal bliss is something of their own choosing and creation.  There is no hard and fast method for finding your bliss. It takes a willingness to step outside our of normal boundaries and explore the world at large.  It is revisiting past experiences and taking a long hard look at how we felt in that moment. Did those experiences excite you?  Did they make our hearts race and minds feel free?  Is it something you would like to do again just to see if it is your bliss or do you truly believe it was a one time something new experience?

I did a lot of web searching today for help in discovering a way to help others find their bliss.  I have had several private emails and private messages from those who would like to find their bliss but have no clue where to begin the search. Mine began with taking a long hard look at my life and beginning to evaluate my life experiences and which ones brought me the most joy but everyone has a different method for finding their own bliss. I will share with you what I found while surfing as well as the link I found it on.

12 Steps to Finding Your Bliss

1) Begin to tell the truth to yourself about what heals you and what hurts you.
2) Take action steps to build self-nurturing activities into your schedule.
3) Consider ways to minimize the activities that disempower you. Do you really need to work on that committee? What would it take to release the person you feel you have to save?
4) Make a list of the talents or activities for which you are most acknowledged and rewarded. For what do your friends praise you the most?
5) Make choices on the basis of the peace they bring. If something is for you, it will feel like it fits. You will be able to breathe with your choice and sleep peacefully at night.
6) What would you do even if you weren't getting paid for it?
7) Follow your intuition. Aliveness and success follow imaginative impulses. Joy does not pander to rational processes.
8) Can you not do it? The voice for joy will keep knocking at your door until you heed its call.
9) When in doubt, don't. Practice acting from the strength of your heart rather than your calculating mind or fear.
10) Let it be easy. Struggle is a sure sign that you have lost sight of the joy path. Struggle is a red flag that you need to retrace your steps and choose the path with heart.
11) Watch for signs.
12) Launch out on faith -- take a risk. The greatest successes begin with a leap of faith.

Found at:
http://www.earthalchemy.com/12steps.html

Everyone's bliss comes in a wide variety of places. You might find you bliss in helping others, you might find your bliss in helping or taking time for yourself.  You might find your bliss in creating something that no one but yourself will ever see or read. But find your bliss you must because life is filled with hardships. It is filled with the mundane details that make life what it is, life.  But as my Dad always told me. What is the point of living if you are merely existing?  If you entire life is nothing more than having a job you report to , or having a family you care for, or even just muddling through each day and surviving it.  What exactly is the point?

Finding your bliss isn't the act of a selfish person. It isn't taking anything away from those in your care or those you care about. Finding your bliss will make you into a better person, a happier person, someone who has tapped that invisible energy that exist in our world and harnessing it into a happier existence for all those who come in contact with it.

Have you ever noticed how hanging out with people who are sad or upset all the time saps your energy, but walk into a room with someone who is happy, truly happy, not pretending to be happy because they don't want the world to see their true self. But someone who has discovered that one or two or half a dozen things that truly make them happy and make time in their schedule to do just that. Their presence will energize you, it will inspire you, it can at times lift your spirits no matter how bad your day has been. Those people who look at the bright side of life instead of dwelling in that dark place that lingers in the corners of all of our minds.

Those people have found their bliss, it may be as simple as taking time for themselves once a day or once a week or even once a month to mentally and emotionally recharge their life batteries. Those are the people who change the world for the better. Those are the people who know life is rough but so what the alternative is much worse.  Those are the kind of people you want to surround yourself with and learn from.  If you discover yourself and your own personal bliss perhaps you may motivate someone else to do the same and in the process spread the happiness and joy that can be found within.

No one can make you happy or make you sad without your permission.  Many people think if they find the perfect mate, the perfect job, or the perfect life. That the rest will fall into place. It helps yes, but when you have a bad day with that perfect mate, or your boss is being a real ass hat on that perfect job, or some rain falls into that perfect life you find yourself back at square one.  However if you find your bliss you can go there any time those dark shadows threaten.  Even if it is only in your mind.  You can recapture that essence of happiness and suddenly those dark days are near as dark.

This is the journey I am on.  This is why I am blogging this life experience.  Some days I am no closer to finding my bliss than the day I started this journey, other days I make amazing strides towards my end goal of not only finding it but also of living my bliss.  I am keeping this online journal for those who would like to watch this step by step or perhaps join me in this journey.

If anyone would like to share their own personal stories or perhaps have a sounding board for finding their own personal bliss you are welcome to post comments. I look forward to hearing from you all.

I hope today you all had a productive and blessed day, and I hope that tomorrow is even better than today.  Until tomorrow my friends I am outta here.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Finding my bliss on a cold winters day

Today is the day after Christmas, the weather outside is chilly and dreary.  My home is filled with warmth and love but some days it is just really hard to find something that makes you happy. I find during the nasty weather that most things just annoy me or set me on edge.  I also find myself worrying over things I have no control over or cannot change, at least not right at this moment change.

I try to find things to keep my mind and my hands busy. I got in my new Burpee catalog in the mail today.  Going through it reminds me that spring is just around the corner so I begin my seeds for the coming garden.  I spoke with 2 of my girls about the bad weather and began to make plans for the coming weekend, if the weather lifts and we can actually safely get out.

I live in TN which is not known for its bad weather or capable drivers on bad roads.  Most folks around here make a mad dash for the grocery store if the weather man even mentions rain or snow or sleet.  It is frightfully cold and I worry about our animals outside the ones I cannot bring in because if I did it would a Noah's ark in my home. We already have all of the dogs and the cat inside and that is stressful enough.  So I do what I can to ensure that everyone is warm and safe and has extra bedding and food to try and stay as warm as possible during this hopefully short lived cold snap.

I have the cat and the dogs inside so they won't suffer from the cold or possibly get frostbite, but then I find myself stressing over the animals I know are still outside both here and in others homes.  I know that many people including myself have not given much thought to having animals out of doors during bad weather in past years but since I have allowed mine into my home they have become family members and not just yard ornaments.  We always had dogs growing up and we never thought twice about leaving them outside during bad weather. But I was raised in a very different generation than the society I now live in.

All of our animals now are cared for to the best of my abilities. They are ensured regular vet visits and the highest quality food we can afford. They are given holiday gifts at Christmas time and they often sleep in our bed or roam freely through our home at any given time.  I tell people this is their house I just pay the bills.

During cold dreary days I also have entirely to much time to think. I am stuck inside and cannot do anything outside without bundling up like an Eskimo and I am not fond of bundling up.  I am so not a cold weather person.  Am not sure if that is because I am getting older and every rain drop and every snow flurry I feel down in my bones or if that is just something I lack patience with.  I often dream of moving to a tropical island that there is no such thing as snow on.  But then I realize I would miss the turning of the leaves and the budding of the flowers in the spring and resign myself to dealing with an occasional day of bad weather and cold and sleet or snow.

I try to find happiness in watching my dogs play and learn from them. They do not care if it is 102 outside or 32 outside they are just happy to be alive. Playing with exuberance with other pack members even if only earlier they may have been disagreeing over who is going to lay where.  They live in the moment and take joy where they can find it. Be that in a chewie or a bowl of special food, or even in the pure joy of the company of others. Sometimes those are life lessons we could all be better by in remembering.

With the nasty weather and the dreary day don't have much to share today, just wanted to flex those writing muscles and try to remember my blessings and find something that makes me happy. Time to go do some cooking and make the house smell more of fresh bread than wet dog.  Hope all are staying safe during this last of 2012 and hope that all are enjoying the last of the holiday season.





Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas Day in the Akes Household

Today is Christmas, it didn't snow but it did get cold.  My hands and feet are numb from being outside.  Today we got up and made sure that everyone had fresh water not frozen, extra food to keep them warm and special treats to let them know how grateful that we are that they share our lives.  Lucky our 30+ year old mustang got extra corn and some sweet red apples, our bunnies got sweet corn and lots of hay to bed down in to chase away the winter cold.  All of our dogs (3 personal, 6 fosters and one boarder) got a special treat last night along with goodies today.  Even my pet rat got a Holiday gift today, she got the gift of companionship with a new friend of the same gender and a special treat of Pear and Sweet corn.

I may be odd but to me my pets and animals are as much family as the children I gave life to.  I count them amongst my blessings every day.  When my life has been its darkest they have shown me unconditional love and reminded me of the things that are important in life.  They have forced me to get up and move even when I would have been content to hide under my blankets and not think of anyone but myself.

Today on this truly blessed holiday I remember the reason for the season, to me that is family.  Those with 2 legs and those with 4.  I am surrounded by those who love me and care for me and this is another reason I am on my quest to find my bliss.  In order to be the best me I can for them I need to find what makes me happy and pursue it.  I need to chase my own dreams and goals and make myself feel complete.

No one can make you happy, that is something entirely up to you. And no one can truly take away away your happiness without your permission.  I have had some in my life would question my life choices, or even tell me I was wrong. At times I hear that voice in the back of my head going "Have you lost your Mind". When in reality I know this is only my own insecurities over my own capabilities and skills.

Today I am spending quality time with some of those I love, treating myself to the extra little things I normally deny myself and just enjoying the holiday.  I am getting ready to go out and have Chinese for Lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, thankfully they are open on the holiday.  I am screening my calls and not accepting calls from those who depress me or bring me down.  And I am taking that little extra time to make myself happy.

I know most will say you have to take those calls they are people who want to wish you a Merry Christmas, but truth of the matter is. My gift to myself today is to be happy and I refuse to allow those who would make any other emotion run rampad in my soul and my heart interfere with my game plan of having the happiest Holiday possible.

Some may call that selfish, I call it taking care of myself first. They are welcome to leave a voice mail or call me tomorrow. Today I am making sure that I am happy that is my primary concern. As women we are brought up to believe that we have to sacrifice our own happiness in order to make sure others are happy. I don't know if it is old age kicking into hyper drive, or just my midlife crisis taking over my mind and body. But today I am doing what I need to do to ensure my own personal happiness and instead of answering the phone and either being rude or being unkind I choose to ignore folks and just have a great day.

Surrounding myself with the things I enjoy and the people that matter most to me.  Another helpful tip on finding your bliss. Don't allow the actions of others to interfere with your plans on being happy.  Most days I will muddle through and find a way to be patient and tolerant but every now and again I have to take what I like to call a personal day.  That is when I do what I want, figuring unless someone is bleeding to death or the world is ending it will wait an additional day.  No harm no foul.

Well off to get ready for lunch. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day and remember to take care of yourself.  If you don't who will and if you aren't operating at your absolute best capacity you are only cheating those in your life who count on you.  Who knows I may splurge later and actually sink back into a hot tub or enjoy a glass of homemade blackberry wine.  You just never know with me.

Hope this post finds all well and happy on this Blessed Christmas Day and I am off to enjoy my personal day.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve and counting your blessings.....

As I sit and unwind from my crazy hectic day I reflect on the past year. The changes in my life, the completion of some task and the beginning of others.  I think about those we have lost in the last year as well as those who have joined our informal network family.  Some of them have made my life so much easier and well some have given me a few life lessons in patience.

On this Eve of Christmas 2012 I want to remind everyone that yesterday is past, is we cannot change it or do anything about the things we have survived. But survived we have.  The future is unknown and cannot be fathomed until it arrives.  So plan for it but do not plan on it.  The only thing we truly have is here and now.  This second in this universe, and we are not guaranteed any more than that.

Show those you love how much you appreciate their presence in your life. For we never know when our time is done and we will have no more tomorrows.  Be grateful for every blessing you enjoy because at any time they can be taken away.  Never assume that your best friend will always be your best friend.  People grow and change and anything can change in a moment, an exchange of words said in the heat of a battle can forever alter the way you see each other.  Always think before you speak because words can often inflict just as much damage as actions or blows.

Look around you and although you may be poor in finances you are often rich in the blessings that surround you.  I am not a rich person in finances but I am very rich in the true friends I have and the wonderful life experiences I have had.  I am surrounded by people who not only love me but who also always have my back in troubled times.

Never allow your dark days to prevent you from enjoying the sunshine.  My grandmother who passed this year always told me, you cannot truly appreciate the beautiful weather if a little rain doesn't fall on your garden.  Why is it that older people have the oddest sayings?  I knew what she meant but she always had the most colorful way of expressing them to me.

As I sit and sip my coffee and watch my dogs play I realize how truly blessed I am.  And how lucky I am to live with those I share my home with. Each one a fighter in their own sense. Overcoming adversity to become what they are now.  Some have seen the worst humanity has to offer and still manage to love unconditionally.  Some have gone through far more than I will ever experience and yet they still manage to be happy and live in the moment.

On this eve of Christmas I just wanted to take a moment and say how truly thankful I am and how truly blessed I am.  Had I not survived the things I have survived I would not have gained the wisdom I now have.  For that I am thankful.  To all I wish a Happy Holiday season and hope that you will have many more to enjoy during your lifetimes. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

For my first post I would like to introduce myself.  I am an average woman. I was raised in a generation that was taught that others always came first. Growing up I was raised to believe you could not find true happiness unless you found a husband. One that would provide for you and keep you safe and warm for the hard life that lie ahead of you.  When I was growing up women were limited in what they could be. Although I was born into an era of women who burned their bras, and fought for women's liberation and equal pay for equal work this didn't prevent our Mothers from raising us to believe in the happily ever after.

I cut my first teeth on Disney Princesses and the damsel being rescued by the handsome prince. Snow white always got her Prince, and Ariel got her human, and Pocohantus got John Smith (which for the record is not really historically correct).  I watched as time and time again the girls always got their dream boat and lived happily ever after. The movies never showed how they handled having children or if they stayed home or were working Moms.  The movies never showed the handsome prince having a side dish in another kingdom or deciding they weren't cut out for family life. The movies never showed real life and all its hardships.

Now I understand why they never showed real life. Who would want to traumatize a young child into believing that life was hard and relationships were harder.  They wanted us to have happy childhoods and grow up into productive members of society.  The fact that as the children grew up and the husbands either died or divorced that we would be left alone.  That somewhere between the marriage alter and the death bed we would have to discover what made us happy and pursue our own dreams.

That is where I am now. My children are grown with lives of their own.  My husband is so busy with work that I spend a lot of time alone.  I keep myself occupied by volunteering and doing rescue work with animals. I returned to school to get my education but that chapter of my life will be done come the fall of 2013.  I garden, read, write, and try to find happiness in my day to day life but in the last few years I have lost several family members and this along with some other life altering things have made me take a long hard look at my life and decide I have given decades of my time and energy to others. It is time for me to find my own personal bliss and begin building a life I will be proud to someday share stories of with my grandchildren.

As I said I am the average run of the mill woman. I am not especially talented or beautiful.  I do not think I will find the cure for cancer or some other dreaded disease.  I seriously doubt I will ever fly in a space shuttle or walk on the moon.  But in my own small way I want to live a life that is filled with excitement and joy.  I want to find what makes me happy and decide if it is something I would like to spend my free time pursuing.

I already find a lot of joy in writing and gardening and have taken those things about as far as I can.  I have already discovered the joy of seeing an animal once cast off by its owners in a loving home with a family of its own. But it is time for the discovery of myself. Who I really and what makes me the happiest.  This blog will be an online journal of this great adventure and I am hoping that some that read it will become inspired by it and want to find their own bliss.

You don't have to wait until your kids are grown or you wake up one day alone to do this.  You can begin this journey right now with me.  I will post updates and links to thinks that make me go interesting.... Or just things that make me smile and count my many blessings.  This may at times be boring or mundane but at times so are life.  It is just a written record of this great adventure I am embarking on and wanted to invite others to join me and perhaps together we can all learn a little something about ourselves along the way.