A Look at 2009

Happy New Year!

I've been reflecting quite a bit today on all of the things that happened in 2009 and all of the things I wanted to happen in 2009. This year has flown by and I didn't accomplish a third of what I had planned.

The first part of the year is pretty much a blur for me. Between work, school, and the family, things were super busy. I was hoping to be at least 50 pounds lighter this year but that didn't happen.

In August, the family and I went to Atlanta, GA for a weekend conference. My husband and the boys got to hang out at our hotel swimming in the pool while I attended the conference. We visited the Atlanta Zoo, which cost us over $70. It was terribly hot, humid, and muggy. I was so grateful for air conditioning. We drove down, which I don't recommend to anyone with small children.

In September, my baby boy started Pre-K. While I was so happy for him, his first day was very hard on me. For the first time in my adult life, I actually heard the clock ticking. He's only gone for half a day but that first half day was the longest 4 hours of 2009.

In October, my mom, who is an 8 year breast cancer survivor, was diagnosed with breast cancer again. She is set for a double mastectomy in February. On October 1, she had her routine mammogram and I went in for a routine physical. Needless to say, neither of these were routine. During my physical exam, my doctor found a few lumps in my left breast. I've since scheduled a mammogram for myself and am hoping for good results. October 1 happens to by my husband's birthday so I felt bad about telling him about my doctor's visit on that day.

With November came Thanksgiving and an over abundance of food. We get together at my grandparents' house to celebrate and, once again, the food and the company was top notch. My sister and I took quite a few pictures and even got a shot of three generations of women. From left to right is my mom, my grandmother, me, and my sister.

December was, as usual, very hectic. My oldest son's birthday is the first week of December so we were busy planning and holding his party. Then we started getting things in order for decorating and finalizing all of our shopping. It's now New Year's Eve and I've spent the day playing Wii with my wonderful husband. Our boys have watched us and cheered us on all day. Now it's their turn to play while we relax and unwind.

Now it's time to start all over with a brand new year! I've been getting a jump on 2010 over the past few days. I always make a resolution at 12:01 am but I never manage to keep it. This is one time I'm actually going follow through. I've been very conscious of what I've been eating and I feel completely different. I've been waking up earlier than usual without the aid of an alarm clock, which is highly unusual for me. I've also been feeling more active, which is good but it's been raining cats and dogs here lately.

I'm looking forward to 2010 for a number of reasons. To start, I graduate with my bachelor's degree in 3 months! I'm so excited about that because I'll have a bit more time with the family and for myself. I'm going back for my MBA in the fall of 2010 so I have the summer to spend more quality time with my boys.

I'm also planning to lose weight and keep it off this year, come hell or high water! I figure that I can be down to about 200 pounds by summer (June or July). That's losing an average of 3 pounds per week each month starting now. That's totally attainable and I'm going to work my butt off to make it happen!

As a result of earning my bachelor's degree in 3 months, I'm hoping to get a raise at work. That will really come in handy because my husband and I are going to start house hunting at the first of the year. Right now, we live with my father-in-law and it's not an ideal situation. I cannot wait to get away from him and not have anyone try to boss me around. This is another thing I wouldn't recommend to anyone with small children.

I'm going to get better about tracking my food intake and exercising. I know that's the only way to lose weight and keep it off. It's time I look the way I feel - GREAT! Here's to a successful 2010 to all of you!

Holiday Insights

The last time I wrote, I had shingles. Thankfully, they're gone and I'm feeling so great! I've started taking a vitamin every morning now and I think it's definitely helping me.

Well, Christmas is over and we're gearing up for New Year's. I'm totally excited about 2010 because so many changes are going to take place for me. Business is going to be better than ever and I'm finally committed to getting healthy.

Christmas was almost perfect here! We didn't get to New York because of so many things working against us. Oye! It was one thing after another. No worries. We were a bit bummed but we didn't let it get to us. We got to go shopping so we all but forgot about NY.

During our shopping trip the day after Christmas, I was painfully reminded of just how big I really am. I needed to get some clothes and I hate shopping for clothes. I haven't bought clothes since last Christmas. The jeans I bought last year are too small and I didn't even look at jeans this year. I bought some nice tops and several pairs of knit workout pants.

My husband immediately noticed a change in my attitude when I was looking for clothes. I was in a good mood until that point. Then, all of a sudden, my mood changed drastically. I wasn't necessarily in a bad mood, or at least I didn't want to be, but he thought I was. All I wanted to do was cry.

I never wanted to be one of those women who had to buy special sizes because I'm so big. But, that's exactly what I am. Since Christmas, I've been keeping a closer eye on what I eat. I've been eating what I normally do but I've been watching my portions. When I start to feel full, I push my plate away.

I think that's one of the most difficult things for me. With the way the economy is and all the people who don't have food, I feel really bad about eating all that I took. My husband told me that I need to learn how to fix my plate in new ways, which really makes sense.

The holidays are usually pretty stressful for and this year was no different. Although I was stressed this year, I didn't let it get to me like I normally would. I'm on vacation now from work and school so I'm trying to catch up on all the things I enjoy but never seem to have the time to do.

'Tis the season for resolutions that we always make but never seem to keep. I'm going to make a resolution this year but it's going to be something extremely realistic. I'm going to make more time for myself and my family. If that means I have to restructure some things, so be it. I'm tired of being strapped to my computer all the time. I'm going to start using my time more wisely than I've been, which is only going to make things better for me; professionally and personally.

I'd love to hear your resolutions for 2010. Feel free to share them! I wish you all the best for 2010!

Day 1

It's day one and I haven't been too bad. So far today, I've had toast, coffee, a PB&J sandwich, and a Hershey's with Almonds candy bar. Hmmm....candy bar? Yeah, I know. The one thing I've learned is to NEVER deprive yourself of anything. If you do deprive yourself you're more likely to binge later.

I've been dealing with some things lately that normally would have made me eat anything and everything. Right now, I'm dealing with shingles (adult chicken pox), which is just as fun as chicken pox. I'm also planning a trip to New York for the weekend after Christmas.

So, I'm really stressed these days but that's pretty normal. I've been swamped with work and busy with school, which adds to me stress. I'm an emotional eater and stress is one of those emotions that makes me eat.

You know, it really frustrates me that the healthy foods are more expensive than the other foods. Maybe instead of imposing a fat tax on certain foods, the government should work to lower the costs of the healthier foods. Just my opinion...

Funds are limited these days with Christmas coming and we just don't have a lot of money to spend on fresh fruits and vegetables. I'm making do with the things I do have but it gets tough. I've realized that I'm the type of person who wants all or nothing. If I can't have the healthy foods, what's the sense in dieting? That's where I'm coming from.

I'm trying to get a handle on my eating before I move on to exercising. I've got a treadmill and a home gym. I can't access my treadmill because some furniture is in front of it. We had to do that because we put up the Christmas tree. The home gym is out in my father-in-law's garage. He's out there all the time so I try to stay out.

I have a meeting in about 10 minutes so I had better get going.

Preparing to Find Me

Welcome to my blog! It is here where I will document my progress to finding myself. Happy reading!

My life is just as hectic as the next person's but I've decided it's time for me to take control. I'm not going to sit around and watch life pass me by anymore. It's time for an extreme makeover!

I've struggled with my weight since I was about 13 years old. I believe that most of my weight issues were triggered by some childhood problems. Right now, I'm bigger than I've ever been. I'm not a child anymore and it's high time I get my butt in gear and make my goals happen.

I come from a big family. I mean big in every sense of the word. My father is severely obese, was diagnosed with diabetes, had both of his knees replaced, and had some open heart surgery. This is all hearsay as I don't speak to my father.

My mom is overweight and was diagnosed with breast cancer 8 years ago, at age 38. She's fighting it again and will be undergoing a double mastectomy in February.

My grandparents are of average size, I think, compared to my parents. My maternal grandparents have both suffered strokes and my grandfather had his voice box removed last year. My grandmother has severe lung issues and can't get around very well.

My paternal grandparents are divorced. My grandmother lives in Florida with her current husband and has had a rough time since last year. She's going through a triple bypass and surgery on her carotid arteries. My grandfather lives near me and recently had a bout with heart problems, which has left him with a pacemaker.

So, there's not much that doesn't run in my family. The list of what we don't have is shorter. As a result of all of this, and a few issues of my own, I'm bound and determined to be as healthy as I can possibly be.

My Stats

Currently, I am:

29 years old
5'8" tall
273 pounds

I am a full time mother, student, and virtual assistant. I don't like to get up early and would rather stay up late. I enjoy peace and quiet. I think that's because I don't get much of that. I live with my husband, 2 boys, and my father-in-law. I spend what little free time I do have with the family and cleaning the house.

I've come to realize that if I don't take care of myself, I may not be around as long as I want to be for my family. While I'm getting healthy for myself, my children are my driving force. I don't want to leave them any sooner than absolutely necessary.

Ok, so that's me. There's a lot more to tell but that will come in time.